So this is the last blog of the semester. I am not 100% sure if I am going to stay up with this blog thing or not. I might, however, because it is a little bit of a stress reliever. Those of you that have read my blogs know that I have a lot of stuff going on, seems to be not stop. The latest is my family member decided to run to Oklahoma so she can have her kids. Right now they are not in DFS custody, however, a caseworker contacted me a few weeks ago and told me that she did not think it was a good idea for the boys to be living with her until she is able to get a job and get her own place. And even then, the caseworker has to approve of the house. Her moving to Oklahoma is just going to make things worse in the long run. Plus her and her boyfriend are living with my aunt and she doesn’t need any added stress. She is already taken care of her sisters kids. I am worried the my aunt doesn’t know what she is getting into by letting her live there. But I am to the point where I don’t want her around my house because I can not trust her or her boyfriend. They came over to my house on Mother’s Day and my husband and I were arguing and she talked to me room mate and then they left. Later, that evening I noticed my $400 camera was missing. I asked my husband and roommate if they had and they said no. The only other people in our house that day was my family member and her boyfriend. I didn’t want to think they took but there isnt any other explanation.
Mu husband and I are better now, for the most part. I really don’t know what to do about that any more. I kind of just looked over it because I don’t know what to do. And don’t want to make the wrong decision.
Well, like I said before this is the last blog of the semester. I, personally, am going to enjoy my time off. Howev er, I am taking summer classes so it will be short lived. I know that as long as I work hard and keep my mind set I can get through these next couple years and hopefully be living my dream life free of drama.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
My rant for week ending 5/7/2010.....I am so confused.
My husband and I have been married for 4 years and have been together for 10 years. He has cheated on me before when we were younger and I forgave him because we have 2 kids together. Plus, we were young and I thought it was something he needed to get out of his system. So, I stuck by him through it all and forgave him. However, you never forget something like that. After all these years, I have learned to trust him again and our relationship has gotten better. Well, at least, I thought it was. We have a roommate that has been a family friend for as long as I can remember. I was messing around with her phone last night, not being nosey, but just checking it out. I found a text message on there from my husband that pertained to them being intimate. I asked him about it and he says he sent it playing around. I looked at his phone, which I haven’t done in like 3 or 4 years because I had no reason to, and all his messages had been erased since the 6th. I really get suspicious and I then ask our roommate about it, she said she never seen the message. The day the message was sent she was out with a guy friend and she thinks maybe her guy friend seen it and responded. I don’t really no. I am not sure I believe it entirely. But I truly believe that our roommate wouldn’t do that to me. We have been friends forever. It doesn’t stop me from believing that my husband would still try to sleep with her. After we discuss all that and I am just so mad and hurt that I just drop it. I started looking at our phone bill to see if maybe, just maybe, there was a way to see what the messages said that were sent. I notice on the bill that there is an unknown number on there. At least it was unknown to me. I asked my husband about it and he said it was a girl that works at the store up the road from us that took one of our puppies. I also noticed that they were texting at almost 1 am in the morning. I asked him what was up with that and he said that the puppy was sick and they were texting about the puppy. Then I noticed that they were texting all afternoon yesterday. He again said it was about the puppy. I asked him why all the texts were erased from his phone and he said because he knew I would blow it out of proportion and jump to conclusions so he deleted them. I told him if they were really talking about the puppy there would have been no reason for me to over react. But he erased the messages and it makes me think-what is he trying to hide. Now I am at this point that I can’t trust him and I hate feeling that way. I don’t know what to do. Should I believe and look the other way or should I go with my gut and leave?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
This made me want to cry!
I recently read a news article on ABC.com and it made me want to cry. It was talking about child sex trafficking. Most of the teens or children are looking for a father figure. These men, pimps, thrive on that and use it to their advantage. They tell these girls everything will be ok as long as they are with them they pimp them out to other men, and even women. Most all, if not all, of these girls are abused mentally and physically not only by their pimps but by other girls that they are housed with. Threats to hurt the girls’ family keep them from running away and trying to reconnect with family.
M.S. was a pre-teen who lost her mother at a young age and she only saw her father on the holidays and craved a father figure. She thought she had found that father figure in a man that would patrol up and down her street, “wooing” her. M.S. stated she “just fell into his arm.” This is what these men want. They want you to believe that they wouldn’t hurt you or put you in harm’s way. That is what M.S. thought when this man invited her to go on a drive with him but she never returned home. For four years she was forced into child prostitution with four different pimps. She rarely, if ever, got to keep any of the $1500 she made every day. M.S. also stated she thought child prostitution was what she was supposed to do, so she did it. She didn’t know any different. She was terrified to runaway for fear of the pimps hurting her family becoming a reality. This was even after her grandmother and sister handed out missing person fliers in hopes of finding her.
This is something you don’t always think is going on in America; when you hear of “sex slaves,” most people thing Cambodia or even Delhi. The Department of Justice estimates more than 250,000 American youth are at risk of becoming victims of commercial sexual exploitation. The average age for female prostitutes in the US is between 12 and 14 years old. These statistics are one reason why Demi Moore and her husband Ashton Kutcher started The Demi and Ashton Foundation to raise awareness about the issue of sex slavery worldwide.
Like I said in the beginning, I read this story and wanted to cry. I couldn’t image losing my daughter not to mention thinking of her being used as a sex slave as young as 12. She is 9 now, and I would be horrified to think something like this could happen to my daughter. One of the things that is aiding in the rise of child sex trafficking is the internet. My daughter is currently not allowed on the internet. I know there will come a day where she will need the computer and internet for school work and such but when that day comes you better believe I will do my VERY best to monitor what is going on when she is longed into the PC.
M.S. was a pre-teen who lost her mother at a young age and she only saw her father on the holidays and craved a father figure. She thought she had found that father figure in a man that would patrol up and down her street, “wooing” her. M.S. stated she “just fell into his arm.” This is what these men want. They want you to believe that they wouldn’t hurt you or put you in harm’s way. That is what M.S. thought when this man invited her to go on a drive with him but she never returned home. For four years she was forced into child prostitution with four different pimps. She rarely, if ever, got to keep any of the $1500 she made every day. M.S. also stated she thought child prostitution was what she was supposed to do, so she did it. She didn’t know any different. She was terrified to runaway for fear of the pimps hurting her family becoming a reality. This was even after her grandmother and sister handed out missing person fliers in hopes of finding her.
This is something you don’t always think is going on in America; when you hear of “sex slaves,” most people thing Cambodia or even Delhi. The Department of Justice estimates more than 250,000 American youth are at risk of becoming victims of commercial sexual exploitation. The average age for female prostitutes in the US is between 12 and 14 years old. These statistics are one reason why Demi Moore and her husband Ashton Kutcher started The Demi and Ashton Foundation to raise awareness about the issue of sex slavery worldwide.
Like I said in the beginning, I read this story and wanted to cry. I couldn’t image losing my daughter not to mention thinking of her being used as a sex slave as young as 12. She is 9 now, and I would be horrified to think something like this could happen to my daughter. One of the things that is aiding in the rise of child sex trafficking is the internet. My daughter is currently not allowed on the internet. I know there will come a day where she will need the computer and internet for school work and such but when that day comes you better believe I will do my VERY best to monitor what is going on when she is longed into the PC.
Friday, April 30, 2010
What a wonderful week!!!
So this week started out pretty stressful. Monday morning I get up, fight my kids as normal to get up for school, and then I get dressed for work. I then drop the kids off at school and then head to work. I get to work at 7:30 am so I sit in the parking lot for a little bit listening to the radio before going into work. While I am sitting there I get a call from my family members’ boyfriends stepmom (if that isn’t confusing) telling me that some stuff went down over the weekend and I needed to contact a lawyer and file for emergency guardianship. I asked her why so she gave me the number of a caseworker to call. I call the caseworker and she said it doesn’t have to be an emergency but she would like one filed since the family member and her boyfriend have been known for drugs, etc. So I spent all day on the phone trying to find a lawyer that didn’t want an arm and a leg to file the guardianship. I talk to my dad about it and you could tell by his voice he expected me to pay part of the lawyer fee. Which I don’t mind doing if we share guardianship and if I had the money to spare. So that day was very exhausting, mentally.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was in bed most of the day because I hurt my back and could barely move. Thursday I woke up sick and throwing up, so I decided I would go into work late so I could get some Ginger Ale or Sprite to help settle my stomach. I lay back down until 10:00 and got up, and got dressed for work. I was still feeling pretty crappy but I still needed to go into work. I go outside to start my truck and all I get was a clicking noise. I thought GREAT!!! So I called my husband and told him I thought the battery was dead. He told me to turn the negative battery cable. So, I did and nothing. I turned it as far as it would go both ways and still nothing. At this time I feel very overwhelmed, plus I still feel sick. I call my husband back and he comes by the house and messes with the battery for a little bit and he finally got it to where it would whorl over but would not start. At this point I begin to cry because I feel so overwhelmed. My husband gets mad because he couldn’t figure it out and leaves. I decide to call Dodge and talk to the service manager (we are on a first name basis) and tell him what is going on and he tells me he thinks the battery doesn’t have enough charge to actually start it. I tell my husband and he thinks I am crazy and don’t know what I am talking about and says he isn’t going to mess with it. I decide to go out to my truck and I take the negative battery terminal off and clean the cable and hook the jumper cables directly up to the cables on the truck. And what do you know….IT STARTS!!! It wouldn’t idle at first but it then straightened out and was great. Haven’t had any more problems out of it. Needless to say my husband was a little upset that I proved him wrong.
Friday-I fought with the electric company most of the day over my bill and then I found this evening that my step-grandmother passed away this morning from cancer. She was the only mom my mother really new. My mom is pretty torn up about it. The visitation is Sunday and the funeral is Monday.
So that is my week. Tomorrow (Saturday) we get to go to Springfield for a Springfield Cardinals game. My son’s baseball team was chosen to go. They get to meet the players, get autographs, go out on the field with the team, get the pictures taken, and then sit right by the team’s dugout box. So, maybe some relaxation.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was in bed most of the day because I hurt my back and could barely move. Thursday I woke up sick and throwing up, so I decided I would go into work late so I could get some Ginger Ale or Sprite to help settle my stomach. I lay back down until 10:00 and got up, and got dressed for work. I was still feeling pretty crappy but I still needed to go into work. I go outside to start my truck and all I get was a clicking noise. I thought GREAT!!! So I called my husband and told him I thought the battery was dead. He told me to turn the negative battery cable. So, I did and nothing. I turned it as far as it would go both ways and still nothing. At this time I feel very overwhelmed, plus I still feel sick. I call my husband back and he comes by the house and messes with the battery for a little bit and he finally got it to where it would whorl over but would not start. At this point I begin to cry because I feel so overwhelmed. My husband gets mad because he couldn’t figure it out and leaves. I decide to call Dodge and talk to the service manager (we are on a first name basis) and tell him what is going on and he tells me he thinks the battery doesn’t have enough charge to actually start it. I tell my husband and he thinks I am crazy and don’t know what I am talking about and says he isn’t going to mess with it. I decide to go out to my truck and I take the negative battery terminal off and clean the cable and hook the jumper cables directly up to the cables on the truck. And what do you know….IT STARTS!!! It wouldn’t idle at first but it then straightened out and was great. Haven’t had any more problems out of it. Needless to say my husband was a little upset that I proved him wrong.
Friday-I fought with the electric company most of the day over my bill and then I found this evening that my step-grandmother passed away this morning from cancer. She was the only mom my mother really new. My mom is pretty torn up about it. The visitation is Sunday and the funeral is Monday.
So that is my week. Tomorrow (Saturday) we get to go to Springfield for a Springfield Cardinals game. My son’s baseball team was chosen to go. They get to meet the players, get autographs, go out on the field with the team, get the pictures taken, and then sit right by the team’s dugout box. So, maybe some relaxation.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My memory card....and my best friend.
This past weekend, my best friend and I were heading back from Carthage listening to the memory card in my stereo. I have several songs from all different genres and artist. On our way back from Carthage, we were listening to Darius Rucker. Since the songs are in alphabetical order, there were quite a few songs by him that played one after another. I do like Darius Rucker. I had never really listened to him until my husband took me to the concert of my favorite band, Rascal Flatts, last summer. Every since then I have liked his music. My best friend, being the smart-a** that she is asked “you don’t like Darius Rucker do you?” I said “well yeah.” We then got on the subject of who Darius Rucker is and the fact that he used to be the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. She asked me if I listen to Hootie and the Blowfish and I told her not that I know of. I didn’t run out and buy their albums or anything. This may be weird, but the name “Hootie and the Blowfish” just didn’t sound appealing to me, like anything I would listen to. So when we got home we decided to look them up and I realized I listened to some of their songs when I was younger. I downloaded some of their songs to my computer so I can then transfer them to my memory card.
My best friend thought I was weird for not having Hootie and the Blowfish on it but having Darius Rucker. But she also thinks I am weird for having artists like The Johnas Brothers, Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus), and Selena Gomez but I have a 9 year old and 10 year old that likes those artists, and since they ride with me most of the time, I have to have stuff they like as well on there. I try to keep all the songs I have on there, kid friendly, because the kids do ride with me all the time and I also have my nephews on the weekend. I don’t listen to hard rap or heavy metal. I mainly listen to country and of course the stuff from the Disney channel. I listen to some hip hop when the kids aren’t in the truck.
I am hoping maybe by putting some Hootie and the Blowfish on the memory card my best friend and I won’t have the “you’re weird” discussion, at least not about this any way. If the ride was any longer then she would have really thought I was crazy because I have a ton of Rascal Flatts on the memory card.
My best friend thought I was weird for not having Hootie and the Blowfish on it but having Darius Rucker. But she also thinks I am weird for having artists like The Johnas Brothers, Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus), and Selena Gomez but I have a 9 year old and 10 year old that likes those artists, and since they ride with me most of the time, I have to have stuff they like as well on there. I try to keep all the songs I have on there, kid friendly, because the kids do ride with me all the time and I also have my nephews on the weekend. I don’t listen to hard rap or heavy metal. I mainly listen to country and of course the stuff from the Disney channel. I listen to some hip hop when the kids aren’t in the truck.
I am hoping maybe by putting some Hootie and the Blowfish on the memory card my best friend and I won’t have the “you’re weird” discussion, at least not about this any way. If the ride was any longer then she would have really thought I was crazy because I have a ton of Rascal Flatts on the memory card.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Blogging about blogs.
I have been racking my brain all weekend and all week about what to write my sourced blog about. So I decided to blog about blogs.
A blog is a contraction of the term “web log” which is a type of website that is usually maintained by an individual with regular entries. The entries can be anything, such as, commentary, descriptions of events, or any other material like graphics or video. “Blog” can also be used as a verb, meaning “to maintain or add content to a blog.” It is basically like a diary that can be viewed publicly and people can comment on. So on any blog you would want to be careful what you blog about and who you mention in those blogs.
I know why I am blogging. It is required for school, otherwise I wouldn’t be blogging. It is believed that people blog to have a voice no matter how small; to be heard. It is a way to share your thoughts, vent, and complain to the public at large. There are even people who blog about politics and sports that would not be otherwise heard if they did not blog. If I did keep a blog every day, and not for school, most of mine, if not all of them, would be rants; like a diary. I used to keep a diary when I was a kid and it helped a lot with what was going on in my life. It made me feel like I was getting it out in the open even if no one heard it.
Before blogging for school, I had only heard of a “blog” on Myspace.com. I read other peoples blogs on there but never kept up with my own. The blogs on MySpace are the way I found out my grandmother was in a terrible car accident a few years ago, because my step family didn’t have my new number. That is how I got all the updates on her health, as well as, my grandfather’s health through it all.
Since starting my blog on Blogger.com I have given some of my family members that live out of town my web address so they can read them and possibly stay caught up on what is going on. Blogging is now my way of ranting to try to relieve stress. I am glad that we are allowed to have one blog a week that is a rant.
A blog is a contraction of the term “web log” which is a type of website that is usually maintained by an individual with regular entries. The entries can be anything, such as, commentary, descriptions of events, or any other material like graphics or video. “Blog” can also be used as a verb, meaning “to maintain or add content to a blog.” It is basically like a diary that can be viewed publicly and people can comment on. So on any blog you would want to be careful what you blog about and who you mention in those blogs.
I know why I am blogging. It is required for school, otherwise I wouldn’t be blogging. It is believed that people blog to have a voice no matter how small; to be heard. It is a way to share your thoughts, vent, and complain to the public at large. There are even people who blog about politics and sports that would not be otherwise heard if they did not blog. If I did keep a blog every day, and not for school, most of mine, if not all of them, would be rants; like a diary. I used to keep a diary when I was a kid and it helped a lot with what was going on in my life. It made me feel like I was getting it out in the open even if no one heard it.
Before blogging for school, I had only heard of a “blog” on Myspace.com. I read other peoples blogs on there but never kept up with my own. The blogs on MySpace are the way I found out my grandmother was in a terrible car accident a few years ago, because my step family didn’t have my new number. That is how I got all the updates on her health, as well as, my grandfather’s health through it all.
Since starting my blog on Blogger.com I have given some of my family members that live out of town my web address so they can read them and possibly stay caught up on what is going on. Blogging is now my way of ranting to try to relieve stress. I am glad that we are allowed to have one blog a week that is a rant.
Family is so wonderful.....sometimes.
Well this last weekend was crazy. It started out my family member was yet again arrested on Thursday for possession of drug paraphernalia. She called another family member to be bonded out. That person called to see about getting her bonded out but he was advised she was put on a 24 hour hold for suspicion of fraudulent misuse of a credit card. She was able to be bonded out the next day on Friday. So the person she asked to bond her out, in fact did. She was to go to his house with no phone and no way to go anywhere. This person ended up getting her a phone anyway. As soon as she had the phone she called some of her “friends” and one of them picked her up and she was gone Saturday. This person who bonded her out called me and told me he was going to revoke her bond and I told him that was his decision and he could do what he wanted, I wasn’t in it. I refuse to bond her out, family or not, on drug charges not to mention for stealing a credit card. She was gone all day Saturday. Then Sunday morning the person who bonded her out called me again and told me he was thinking of revoking her bond and I again told him that it was his decision, I was not in it. He said that she had texted him and said she had a job interview (on a Sunday) and was then going to follow someone to Chicago. So that is why he wanted to revoke her bond.
After all that, everything seems fine. My best friend came over with her husband and child and we were all just hanging out. Then I get a call from my family member’s husband asking me if his child seat was still in my husband’s car from when we let them borrow the week before. I asked my daughter to run out to my husband’s car and check to see if the seat was still there. My daughter comes back in and tells me that her dad’s car isn’t out there. I told her it should be so I go check and sure enough the car was gone. I called the police department and filed a report. I then drove all over town as well as the next two towns over to see if I can find it. About midnight Sunday night I received a call from the police department saying they found my car and had it stopped and asked if I wanted it towed or I wanted to go pick it up. I told them that I wanted to go pick it up while the police was there so I can make sure nothing was missing. I get to the location and who do I see being arrested, my family member. She wasn’t the one actually driving but she was still there. So yet again she goes to jail.
We found out that somehow she was able to get into my house, while we were asleep, and take the key to the car off of my husband’s key ring and that is how she was able to take the car without breaking anything. She tried to tell the cops that I let her borrow it, that is why she had a key, and she was on her way to bring it back.
So as you can see my family member is back on meth and it has been very, very crazy. I hope things start to look up for her and she can get clean and be there for her children.
After all that, everything seems fine. My best friend came over with her husband and child and we were all just hanging out. Then I get a call from my family member’s husband asking me if his child seat was still in my husband’s car from when we let them borrow the week before. I asked my daughter to run out to my husband’s car and check to see if the seat was still there. My daughter comes back in and tells me that her dad’s car isn’t out there. I told her it should be so I go check and sure enough the car was gone. I called the police department and filed a report. I then drove all over town as well as the next two towns over to see if I can find it. About midnight Sunday night I received a call from the police department saying they found my car and had it stopped and asked if I wanted it towed or I wanted to go pick it up. I told them that I wanted to go pick it up while the police was there so I can make sure nothing was missing. I get to the location and who do I see being arrested, my family member. She wasn’t the one actually driving but she was still there. So yet again she goes to jail.
We found out that somehow she was able to get into my house, while we were asleep, and take the key to the car off of my husband’s key ring and that is how she was able to take the car without breaking anything. She tried to tell the cops that I let her borrow it, that is why she had a key, and she was on her way to bring it back.
So as you can see my family member is back on meth and it has been very, very crazy. I hope things start to look up for her and she can get clean and be there for her children.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Being Involed
My 9 year old daughter is involved with Girls Scouts and they have camp next weekend. I am so excited for my daughter that she gets to go to camp. She may even get to/ have to go by herself for most of it because I will have to stay home with my son and my nephew. That is the part is scares me. I have never left my daughter alone unless it is with family. So I am a little nervous, I guess more than anything. She will go Friday night and stay until Saturday morning when I pick her up because she is also involved with the softball team and she has her first game on Saturday morning. I may then take her back and she will stay until Sunday at 5pm. All of this going in one weekend is kind of overwhelming but I am so excited that my kids are involved with stuff. I was never able to participate in things like that when I was growing up. My parents never had the money or the time to do anything with me and my sisters. My husband was in the same situation. He never got to participate in after school programs or activities. I believe this is part of the reason he and I both got in trouble as teenagers because we didn’t have anything else to do so why not. I am hoping with my kids being involved in baseball/softball/girl scouts that they will be less likely to follow in their parents’ footsteps. One of my biggest fears with my kids are they will hate me or end up in trouble like their father and I were. I talk to my kids as much as possible and let them know that no matter what they do or have done I will always be here for them. They can always call me or even write me a letter (my daughter likes to write) telling me what is on their mind, if I have done something that upsets them, or even stuff at school. I would much rather my kids to be involved in something outside of the home rather than have their noses in video games all day and night. Even without baseball and softball, I would rather my kids to be outside then in front of the tv or video games. I truly hope my kids activities impacts their life in a good way.
My rant for week ending 4/16/2010
So my week has been pretty much the same as any other week. Go to work, just to get sent home early because the call flow is low. I come and clean house and do homework. Then I pick up the kids after school and come home and start dinner. But I have been stressing all week over what classes I should take during the summer and deciding on a major. I have had several ideas but always seem to find something wrong with all of them. I am afraid that no matter what I decide I am going to get bored with it and then end up back in school or at a dead end job. I am also afraid of choosing a major and then not being able to find a decent job using that degree. I would hate to pay all this money and still be where I am now. The reason I am in school is mainly for financial stability. If I end up in the same situation I am in now, then it was all for nothing. I do not want that. My kids are already going to be teenagers by them I graduate. So there will be no time to save for college for them.
I worry a lot about everything. I worry about my kids future, how the bills are going to be paid, will my kids hate me, will they do the same things I did growing up, will I ever be out of debt, and my home being organized. My house doesn’t ever seem to be clean enough. Even if I cleaned all day and organized everything, I still feel like there is more to be done. Sometimes I just wish I could turn my brain off and not think about anything at all. I get so overwhelmed sometimes over all of these things. These things aren’t things I can change immediately but I worry about this stuff all the time. This is one reason I was put on medicine for anxiety. The meds seem to help most days. But it makes me sleepy so I don’t take it like I am supposed to.
I know this blog may be a little confusing and just rambling but this is what is on my mind right now and pretty much every day, all day. I do have an appointment to start seeing a counselor towards the end of the month and I hope that talking with a counselor will help more and I will be able to control my worries and anxiety. I wish all the time that I didn’t worry as much and my anxiety level wasn’t always high but things are the way they are and all I can do is try to do my best every day. I try to remember the Serenity Prayer but that doesn’t always help. I will try to keep my head up and continue to believe that everything happens for a reason.
I worry a lot about everything. I worry about my kids future, how the bills are going to be paid, will my kids hate me, will they do the same things I did growing up, will I ever be out of debt, and my home being organized. My house doesn’t ever seem to be clean enough. Even if I cleaned all day and organized everything, I still feel like there is more to be done. Sometimes I just wish I could turn my brain off and not think about anything at all. I get so overwhelmed sometimes over all of these things. These things aren’t things I can change immediately but I worry about this stuff all the time. This is one reason I was put on medicine for anxiety. The meds seem to help most days. But it makes me sleepy so I don’t take it like I am supposed to.
I know this blog may be a little confusing and just rambling but this is what is on my mind right now and pretty much every day, all day. I do have an appointment to start seeing a counselor towards the end of the month and I hope that talking with a counselor will help more and I will be able to control my worries and anxiety. I wish all the time that I didn’t worry as much and my anxiety level wasn’t always high but things are the way they are and all I can do is try to do my best every day. I try to remember the Serenity Prayer but that doesn’t always help. I will try to keep my head up and continue to believe that everything happens for a reason.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
AAGGHHH Again!
So my family member that is/was on Meth is back at home. She was at my dad’s for a day and then she came to my house last Sunday. Which is fine at least I know she isn’t using when she is at my house. She has slept almost the entire time she has been here which is stressful on me because I am the one dealing with her boys. I usually have them on the weekends anyway but the weekend ended Sunday. I am stressed to the max. I normally get a break during the week so I am able to do normal stuff like homework, house work, and maybe even some relaxing. Man, these last few days have been crazy. I am grateful that my family member is getting clean but she still has some drama associated with this. Like she loaned her truck out to one of these addicts and the girls quit returning the calls and no one knew where the truck was for 3 or 4 days. Eventually the girl called and said her truck was in Fairview, MO which is like one hour away. So her, her husband and my husband drive all the way down there just to find out the tags aren’t on it, there is no battery, and the girl has the keys. So they ended up calling a wrecker to tow it back to Joplin. Now they have to get a new key made that is going to cost because there is a chip in it or something. But she is getting mad at her husband, as well as me and my husband because we don’t have any money and are limited to what we can do. We tell her she brought this on herself and we are willing to try to help her fix it but she doesn’t need to be yelling at us. I told her she should go look in the mirror and yell. Today, again she has been sleeping all day and I have been dealing with the 2 boys and trying to do homework as well as housework and dinner. I, again, am so stressed. I am so glad she is getting clean but she shouldn’t expect everyone to drop everything and be at her every yell and do everything she wants us to do. Our lives didn’t stop when she went on her little “adventure”, we still have our normal stuff to do every day and we can’t just drop everything to do what she needs done. We have to work around our normal schedule and life. I want to help her but she is asking too much I think. Maybe now that she is getting clean she can get her a job and get a house of her own and start living normally.
Men may not want to read this.
I have been having some pain in my ovaries so I decided to do some research on ovarian cysts, which is what my doctor thinks I may be developing.
An ovarian cyst is a fluid-filled sac that is usually found on the surface of an ovary. There are several types of ovarian cysts and each has different underlying causes. Most women will have them during child bearing years. Most are completely without symptoms but some types can cause serious health problems.
Types of ovarian cysts:
1. Functional (physiologic) cysts such as follicular cyst, and corpus luteum cyst.
2. Dermoid cyst.
3. Endometrioma or “chocolate cyst”
4. Cystadenoma
5. Multiple cysts-Polycystic ovary
Ovarian cysts are diagnosed by a pelvic exam by palpating the ovaries. They can also be diagnosed by a pelvic ultrasound, where sound waves are transmitted through your pelvic area and an image of your ovaries and uterus is shown on a video screen. One other way is by laparoscopy which is a surgical procedure when you doctor wants to see the cyst.
Ovarian cysts can be treated by watchful waiting where the doctor will schedule several ultrasounds to keep watching them to see if they go away on their own or not. Birth control pills can help in treatment by altering your hormone levels so the cyst will shrink. One other way is surgery where it would be surgically removed if it is large, solid or filled with debris, persistently growing, irregularly shaped, or causing pain.
Ovarian cysts can be prevented by improving the quality of your diet, increasing exercise, controlling stress, or using bio-identical hormones, these are supplements and herbs to help balance your hormonal system.
I almost always have pain in my ovaries. I am terrified that it is going to be something that requires surgery. I used to be on birth control pills but 2 years ago I got an IUD called the Merena. It seems that every since then the pain hasn’t gotten worse, so as soon as I am able to get back into my doctor I may have to have that removed. I hope not because taking the pill every day was hard to remember and I got pregnant with my daughter while I was on the DepoProvera shot. I would like to keep the Merena but am not sure I can handle the pain for 3 more years since it is good for 5 years.
An ovarian cyst is a fluid-filled sac that is usually found on the surface of an ovary. There are several types of ovarian cysts and each has different underlying causes. Most women will have them during child bearing years. Most are completely without symptoms but some types can cause serious health problems.
Types of ovarian cysts:
1. Functional (physiologic) cysts such as follicular cyst, and corpus luteum cyst.
2. Dermoid cyst.
3. Endometrioma or “chocolate cyst”
4. Cystadenoma
5. Multiple cysts-Polycystic ovary
Ovarian cysts are diagnosed by a pelvic exam by palpating the ovaries. They can also be diagnosed by a pelvic ultrasound, where sound waves are transmitted through your pelvic area and an image of your ovaries and uterus is shown on a video screen. One other way is by laparoscopy which is a surgical procedure when you doctor wants to see the cyst.
Ovarian cysts can be treated by watchful waiting where the doctor will schedule several ultrasounds to keep watching them to see if they go away on their own or not. Birth control pills can help in treatment by altering your hormone levels so the cyst will shrink. One other way is surgery where it would be surgically removed if it is large, solid or filled with debris, persistently growing, irregularly shaped, or causing pain.
Ovarian cysts can be prevented by improving the quality of your diet, increasing exercise, controlling stress, or using bio-identical hormones, these are supplements and herbs to help balance your hormonal system.
I almost always have pain in my ovaries. I am terrified that it is going to be something that requires surgery. I used to be on birth control pills but 2 years ago I got an IUD called the Merena. It seems that every since then the pain hasn’t gotten worse, so as soon as I am able to get back into my doctor I may have to have that removed. I hope not because taking the pill every day was hard to remember and I got pregnant with my daughter while I was on the DepoProvera shot. I would like to keep the Merena but am not sure I can handle the pain for 3 more years since it is good for 5 years.
STRESS!!!
I have been under a lot of stress these past few months so I decided to do a blog about just that-stress. I have been under a lot of it worrying about finances and family issues. I have actually been to the hospital because of stress and anxiety last week. I was put on meds because of it and hopefully I will be able to go see a counselor soon to get more help with this. A lot of people criticize me for taking meds to help with it because they say you can control it on your own. I guess I am not that strong or whatever because I tried handling it on my own and it didn’t help.
Stress is a normal, physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way. When you sense this danger, the body’s defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight or flight” reaction, better known as the stress response. This response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly it stays focused, energetic, and alert. These responses are the ones that make you slam on the brakes to avoid an accident, and are also responsible for giving you extra strength to defend yourself. Stress is also responsible for keeping you on your toes during a presentation at work, and also drives you to study for an exam when you’d rather be watching television. But beyond a certain point, stress starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life. Stress doesn’t know the difference between physical threats and psychological threats. No matter what threat it is, stress causes your body to react the same. Rather it is stressing over bills, an argument with a friend, or being held at gun point. Your stress response is turned on at these times and the more it is “on” the harder it is to turn “off”. Long term stress exposure can lead to serious health problems such as high blood pressure, suppressed immune system, increase risk of heart attack and stroke. It can also contribute to infertility and speed up the aging process, as well as it can “rewire” the brain leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.
Several de-stressing ideas include: taking a vacation, listening to music, read a good book, sleep, get a massage, and sexual relations.
Take a vacation: Even if it is just a drive through the country, just get away.
Listen to music: Listening to music gets you focused on the sound and you forget everything else for a little while.
Read a good book: Reading a good book is a good way to take a “vacation” without leaving the house.
Sleep: Having too little or too much sleep can put you in a bad mood and make you stressed.
Get a massage: A massage is a good way to relieve muscle tension.
Sexual Relation: Lovemaking sessions can relieve tension.
Stress is a normal, physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way. When you sense this danger, the body’s defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight or flight” reaction, better known as the stress response. This response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly it stays focused, energetic, and alert. These responses are the ones that make you slam on the brakes to avoid an accident, and are also responsible for giving you extra strength to defend yourself. Stress is also responsible for keeping you on your toes during a presentation at work, and also drives you to study for an exam when you’d rather be watching television. But beyond a certain point, stress starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life. Stress doesn’t know the difference between physical threats and psychological threats. No matter what threat it is, stress causes your body to react the same. Rather it is stressing over bills, an argument with a friend, or being held at gun point. Your stress response is turned on at these times and the more it is “on” the harder it is to turn “off”. Long term stress exposure can lead to serious health problems such as high blood pressure, suppressed immune system, increase risk of heart attack and stroke. It can also contribute to infertility and speed up the aging process, as well as it can “rewire” the brain leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.
Several de-stressing ideas include: taking a vacation, listening to music, read a good book, sleep, get a massage, and sexual relations.
Take a vacation: Even if it is just a drive through the country, just get away.
Listen to music: Listening to music gets you focused on the sound and you forget everything else for a little while.
Read a good book: Reading a good book is a good way to take a “vacation” without leaving the house.
Sleep: Having too little or too much sleep can put you in a bad mood and make you stressed.
Get a massage: A massage is a good way to relieve muscle tension.
Sexual Relation: Lovemaking sessions can relieve tension.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
My rant for week ending 4/2/2010
So today was my first day back at work in a couple weeks. It was kind of weird but not. It was like starting a new job and you know almost everyone. It was kind of nice to get back to work and get out of the house and have something else to think about all instead of worrying about my family member that is or was on drugs. She claims to not have ever been on them and claims to not be on any now. (But that is a whole other story.) The first 45 minutes I spent at work in the lobby waiting for the lady that needed to release me back to work to get there. She then gets there and faxes the appropriate paper to the corporate office, which meant I had to wait another 15 minutes until she decided to let me go to the call floor until she heard from corporate. I’m thinking we are getting somewhere. I can go be productive or at least try to be. I get out on the floor and since I have been gone all my passwords need to be reset. My supervisor had to email yet another person in the corporate office to get my passwords reset. Meanwhile, I am talking to people trying to find out what I have missed, of course most of it was gossip, but hey it gets us all. I was also looking at the internal memo board to get caught up on the policy and procedure side of things. This went on for what seemed like forever. I finally was able to log into my computer systems and was ready to go to work. I pick up my headset and put it on and…..nothing. It isn’t working. So, I let my supervisor know, because we aren’t supposed to fix these things our selves. She calls the IT person and tells him what is going on and she says “He’ll be out in a minute”. Twenty minutes later I decide I am going to do it myself, I need to get back to work. So I take the headset and amplifier from another bay, and of course, here comes the IT guy. I’m thinking “haha I fixed it myself” well come to find out I didn’t and I had to move to another seat. Which really irritated me because I actually had a seat now, I actually felt like I belonged and I had to move. Not to mention I had to sit next to someone who didn’t smell to well. I am not the type to complain, I would just deal with it. And I did. But I was on the IT guys butt to fix my seat. Finally, he did and I was able to move back to my seat and actually do my job. I’m feeling pretty good at this point; I am able to get to work. I have been off work for a while and the time that I was off, I so wished I could have been at work instead of dealing with what I was dealing with. It was so nice to be back at work even after everything I dealt with to ACTUALLY get back to work.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
What to do?
So this is my rant for the week.
I went to my best friends’ house in Arkansas this last weekend so I could just get away. I wanted to leave on Friday but couldn’t because my daughter had girl scouts. No big deal I figured I would leave first thing Saturday morning. Well I ended up leaving around noon which put me at her house around 1 pm. Which is fine but I had to leave the next morning by 10 so I could be back for my son’s baseball practice at noon, which by the way got canceled with no warning. Some would say it was not worth going down for a visit for less than 24 hours but I needed to get a way. Did I mention it wasn’t “me time” because I took my kids with me? Which I do not mind, my kids go everywhere with me because I do not have a sitter and my husband is either working or just doesn’t want to have to take care of them himself. Well, I did enjoy my time. I made sure my house was completely clean before I left so he could pick up what little dishes or laundry he used and I wouldn’t have a lot to do when I got home. Surprisingly enough my husband survived. He actually cooked. Which now that I think about, I would have rather he’d gone out to eat instead. I come home and see that he dirty dishes were still in the sink from the night before and the pans were still on the stove. I didn’t say anything at first because I figured he would clean it. Well, that evening (Sunday) I told him that the house was clean before I left and I would appreciate it if he would clean up his mess. He said he would get it done don’t worry. So I waited and waited and nothing got done. So I rinsed the dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher, swept and mopped the floor, bleached all the counters, and cleaned the stove. However, I did tell him he could clean the pans, because when he cooks stuff gets really stuck to the bottoms. Again, he said he would get to it. So I went to bed and he continued to play his video games. I wake up Monday morning and they still weren’t done and I was NOT going to do them. At this point I was pretty agitated but I didn’t go into the kitchen so it would not bother me so much…you know out of site out of mind. Again, he played his video games when he had some down time from work and didn’t clean the pans. This was last night (Monday). Well, tonight, I had it, I cleaned the kitchen as normal and told him that the dishes he dirtied were still there and I would appreciate it if he would wash them. They sat there for 2 days. I know I should have or could have washed them but I do that all the time. He is a big boy and he can pick up after himself. He made the excuse that he let them set that long in water so they would be easier to clean. Which anyone who has done dishes knows you don’t have to let them set that long, you just have to put some elbow grease behind it. Well, of course he says that he would have got to it if I wouldn’t have said anything and I always have to have something to gripe about. I do not know what to do any more. I feel like we are always arguing and he says it is always completely my fault. I have my faults, I admit, but so does he and he won’t admit that some of my gripping is his fault. I am so stressed out!!
I went to my best friends’ house in Arkansas this last weekend so I could just get away. I wanted to leave on Friday but couldn’t because my daughter had girl scouts. No big deal I figured I would leave first thing Saturday morning. Well I ended up leaving around noon which put me at her house around 1 pm. Which is fine but I had to leave the next morning by 10 so I could be back for my son’s baseball practice at noon, which by the way got canceled with no warning. Some would say it was not worth going down for a visit for less than 24 hours but I needed to get a way. Did I mention it wasn’t “me time” because I took my kids with me? Which I do not mind, my kids go everywhere with me because I do not have a sitter and my husband is either working or just doesn’t want to have to take care of them himself. Well, I did enjoy my time. I made sure my house was completely clean before I left so he could pick up what little dishes or laundry he used and I wouldn’t have a lot to do when I got home. Surprisingly enough my husband survived. He actually cooked. Which now that I think about, I would have rather he’d gone out to eat instead. I come home and see that he dirty dishes were still in the sink from the night before and the pans were still on the stove. I didn’t say anything at first because I figured he would clean it. Well, that evening (Sunday) I told him that the house was clean before I left and I would appreciate it if he would clean up his mess. He said he would get it done don’t worry. So I waited and waited and nothing got done. So I rinsed the dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher, swept and mopped the floor, bleached all the counters, and cleaned the stove. However, I did tell him he could clean the pans, because when he cooks stuff gets really stuck to the bottoms. Again, he said he would get to it. So I went to bed and he continued to play his video games. I wake up Monday morning and they still weren’t done and I was NOT going to do them. At this point I was pretty agitated but I didn’t go into the kitchen so it would not bother me so much…you know out of site out of mind. Again, he played his video games when he had some down time from work and didn’t clean the pans. This was last night (Monday). Well, tonight, I had it, I cleaned the kitchen as normal and told him that the dishes he dirtied were still there and I would appreciate it if he would wash them. They sat there for 2 days. I know I should have or could have washed them but I do that all the time. He is a big boy and he can pick up after himself. He made the excuse that he let them set that long in water so they would be easier to clean. Which anyone who has done dishes knows you don’t have to let them set that long, you just have to put some elbow grease behind it. Well, of course he says that he would have got to it if I wouldn’t have said anything and I always have to have something to gripe about. I do not know what to do any more. I feel like we are always arguing and he says it is always completely my fault. I have my faults, I admit, but so does he and he won’t admit that some of my gripping is his fault. I am so stressed out!!
Anxiety
I have been having several anxiety attacks the past couple weeks with everything going on with my family member and then just my family in general. When I have an anxiety attack it usually starts off with my head feeling like it is being squeezed in a vice and the my chest gets real tight and I can’t breathe. I usually am able to control them by breathing and going to a quite place but they have been lasting longer and longer. So this week I decided to do my sourced blog on anxiety.
Anxiety is a psychological and physiological state that is characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional m and behavioral components. All these combine to make an unpleasant feeling, such as the tightening in my chest. It can typically be associated with uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry. Anxiety is a mood condition that often occurs without any obvious triggering stimulus. I can be sitting here watching television, fine and peachy, and then my chest starts tightening and I can’t breathe. It is distinguished from fear because fear there is a presence of an observed threat. Anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable. Another way to look at anxiety is as a “future-oriented mood state in which one is ready or prepared to attempt to cope with upcoming negative events.” Future vs. present danger is a distinguishing factor between fear and anxiety. A small amount of anxiety is normal. It is a normal reaction to stress. It may help someone deal with a difficult situation, by prompting someone to cope with it. When it comes excessive, it may be classified as an anxiety disorder.
Some symptoms of anxiety is irrational fear or dread, muscle tension, headaches, jaw-clenching, teeth-grinding, insomnia, restlessness, and chest pain or pressure shortness of breath just to name a few. I, myself, suffer from all of these. I used to be able to control it by concentrating on my breathing, going t a quite place, and just relaxing. But that is getting harder and harder to do because when it is quiet and I am alone, my mind wonders even more. I am not a big fan of taking medication. I hardly ever even take Tylenol. But I really think I am going to have to seek help from a doctor on this one. Even it is just for a little while because it is starting to affect my loved ones and my work and school both.
Wish me luck. If anyone has any ideas on other ways to help I would greatly appreciate it.
Anxiety is a psychological and physiological state that is characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional m and behavioral components. All these combine to make an unpleasant feeling, such as the tightening in my chest. It can typically be associated with uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry. Anxiety is a mood condition that often occurs without any obvious triggering stimulus. I can be sitting here watching television, fine and peachy, and then my chest starts tightening and I can’t breathe. It is distinguished from fear because fear there is a presence of an observed threat. Anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable. Another way to look at anxiety is as a “future-oriented mood state in which one is ready or prepared to attempt to cope with upcoming negative events.” Future vs. present danger is a distinguishing factor between fear and anxiety. A small amount of anxiety is normal. It is a normal reaction to stress. It may help someone deal with a difficult situation, by prompting someone to cope with it. When it comes excessive, it may be classified as an anxiety disorder.
Some symptoms of anxiety is irrational fear or dread, muscle tension, headaches, jaw-clenching, teeth-grinding, insomnia, restlessness, and chest pain or pressure shortness of breath just to name a few. I, myself, suffer from all of these. I used to be able to control it by concentrating on my breathing, going t a quite place, and just relaxing. But that is getting harder and harder to do because when it is quiet and I am alone, my mind wonders even more. I am not a big fan of taking medication. I hardly ever even take Tylenol. But I really think I am going to have to seek help from a doctor on this one. Even it is just for a little while because it is starting to affect my loved ones and my work and school both.
Wish me luck. If anyone has any ideas on other ways to help I would greatly appreciate it.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Marijuana
With everything that has been going on with my family member I have decided to do another blog on drugs. This time it is marijuana. Marijuana is the most commonly used illicit drug in the United States. It is derived from the hemp plant Cannabis sativa. Abusers shred up the green and brown mix of flowers, stems, seeds, and leaves and smoke it as a cigarette, also known as a joint, or smoke it in a pipe. It can also be smoked in blunts, which is cigars that have been emptied of tobacco and refilled with the marijuana. The blunt retains the tobacco leaf used to wrap the cigar which combines marijuana’s active ingredient THC with nicotine and other harmful chemicals. Marijuana can also be mixed with food and brewed as a tea.
When someone smokes marijuana, THC rapidly passes from the lungs into the bloodstream, which then carries the chemical to the brain and other organs throughout the body. THC acts on specific sites in the brain, called cannabinoid receptors. This kicks off a series of cellular reactions that leads to the “high” that users experience after smoking marijuana. Some brain areas have more cannabinoid receptors than other areas. The highest amount of receptors are found in the parts of the brain that influence pleasure, memory, thoughts, concentration, sensory and time perception, as well as coordinated movement. The receptors being affected can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and problems with learning and memory. These affects can last for days or even weeks after the acute effects of the drug wear off. For someone who smokes marijuana every day may function at a lower intellectual level at all times.
Long term marijuana abuse can lead to addiction; that is, compulsive drug seeking and abuse despite knowing the harmful effects. Long term abusers, that try to quit, report irritability, sleeplessness, decreased appetite, anxiety, and drug craving. These withdraws symptoms begin within about 1 day following abstinence, peak 2-3 days, and subside within 1 or 2 weeks following drug cessation.
Marijuana abusers are at a higher risk for anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and schizophrenia. Marijuana also increases heart rate by 20-100 percent after smoking, which can last up to 3 hours after. There is a small chance of having a heart attack in the first hour after smoking the drug. This chance is higher in the aging populations and those with cardiac vulnerabilities. Marijuana also has effects on your lungs. Marijuana smoke contains 50-70 percent more carcinogenic hydrocarbons than tobacco smoke. However, there are no positive associations between marijuana use and lung upper respiratory or upper digestive tract cancers.
Behavioral interventions, including cognitive behavioral therapy and motivational incentives; such as providing vouchers for goods or services to patients who remain abstinent, have shown to be effective in treating marijuana dependence. There are studies in process to try to provide a medication that would help with the dependence by easing withdrawal, blocking the intoxicating effect of marijuana, and preventing relapse.
When someone smokes marijuana, THC rapidly passes from the lungs into the bloodstream, which then carries the chemical to the brain and other organs throughout the body. THC acts on specific sites in the brain, called cannabinoid receptors. This kicks off a series of cellular reactions that leads to the “high” that users experience after smoking marijuana. Some brain areas have more cannabinoid receptors than other areas. The highest amount of receptors are found in the parts of the brain that influence pleasure, memory, thoughts, concentration, sensory and time perception, as well as coordinated movement. The receptors being affected can cause distorted perceptions, impaired coordination, difficulty in thinking and problem solving, and problems with learning and memory. These affects can last for days or even weeks after the acute effects of the drug wear off. For someone who smokes marijuana every day may function at a lower intellectual level at all times.
Long term marijuana abuse can lead to addiction; that is, compulsive drug seeking and abuse despite knowing the harmful effects. Long term abusers, that try to quit, report irritability, sleeplessness, decreased appetite, anxiety, and drug craving. These withdraws symptoms begin within about 1 day following abstinence, peak 2-3 days, and subside within 1 or 2 weeks following drug cessation.
Marijuana abusers are at a higher risk for anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and schizophrenia. Marijuana also increases heart rate by 20-100 percent after smoking, which can last up to 3 hours after. There is a small chance of having a heart attack in the first hour after smoking the drug. This chance is higher in the aging populations and those with cardiac vulnerabilities. Marijuana also has effects on your lungs. Marijuana smoke contains 50-70 percent more carcinogenic hydrocarbons than tobacco smoke. However, there are no positive associations between marijuana use and lung upper respiratory or upper digestive tract cancers.
Behavioral interventions, including cognitive behavioral therapy and motivational incentives; such as providing vouchers for goods or services to patients who remain abstinent, have shown to be effective in treating marijuana dependence. There are studies in process to try to provide a medication that would help with the dependence by easing withdrawal, blocking the intoxicating effect of marijuana, and preventing relapse.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Life!!!
My husband works for a local tow truck company and seems to be gone all the time. Granted it is a job and we all know finding a job in today’s market is almost as bad as finding a needle in a haystack. I am very thankful that he has a job and is a hard worker. He is very loyal to his company and works his butt off for the company. The problem I have is I always feel like we never get to spend any time together. Every time we make plans, he gets a call and has to leave. Which I know it is his job. There are other drivers but my husband is the one that is always told to go to the tow.
A couple of examples are: I was broke down beside the road so I call my husband to come tow our truck to the shop. He told me ok let him finish the tow he was on and he would be there. Well, as always, he got another call and he asked the owner of the company’s brother to go get it since he can drive the same wrecker as my husband and I was broke down and it was freezing cold. The brother said he couldn’t go do it because he was eating breakfast. Most days my husband doesn’t even get breakfast because he gets a call and has to run out the door.
Another example is my husband and the other driver is supposed to have alternating weekends off. Well this weekend was supposed to be my husband’s weekend off. Not only because it was his scheduled weekend off but he had to go to Texas for his other job. The weekend starts 9 am Saturday and ends 9 am Monday. My husband gets a call at 8:45 am on Saturday and doesn’t get done with that call until close to 11 am. Nice right. Well he was able to take off after that for a couple hours but then the brother, who is supposed to be the backup when one of the regular drivers is off, calls and tells my husband that he needs to stay on until he left for Texas on Sunday because he didn’t want to come into town and cover any in town calls until the other driver got back. So my husband didn’t get even a full day off from the tow truck company. It’s frustrating that the brother, who supposed to be back up, didn’t want to do his job so my husband didn’t get his time off to spend with his family. And it wasn’t like there was a good reason; he just didn’t want to drive to town.
My husband and I argue quite often because of all this and I am thankful he has a job but I feel his boss and the brother takes advantage of him. Not to mention he has to run his butt off to even make a decent paycheck.
A couple of examples are: I was broke down beside the road so I call my husband to come tow our truck to the shop. He told me ok let him finish the tow he was on and he would be there. Well, as always, he got another call and he asked the owner of the company’s brother to go get it since he can drive the same wrecker as my husband and I was broke down and it was freezing cold. The brother said he couldn’t go do it because he was eating breakfast. Most days my husband doesn’t even get breakfast because he gets a call and has to run out the door.
Another example is my husband and the other driver is supposed to have alternating weekends off. Well this weekend was supposed to be my husband’s weekend off. Not only because it was his scheduled weekend off but he had to go to Texas for his other job. The weekend starts 9 am Saturday and ends 9 am Monday. My husband gets a call at 8:45 am on Saturday and doesn’t get done with that call until close to 11 am. Nice right. Well he was able to take off after that for a couple hours but then the brother, who is supposed to be the backup when one of the regular drivers is off, calls and tells my husband that he needs to stay on until he left for Texas on Sunday because he didn’t want to come into town and cover any in town calls until the other driver got back. So my husband didn’t get even a full day off from the tow truck company. It’s frustrating that the brother, who supposed to be back up, didn’t want to do his job so my husband didn’t get his time off to spend with his family. And it wasn’t like there was a good reason; he just didn’t want to drive to town.
My husband and I argue quite often because of all this and I am thankful he has a job but I feel his boss and the brother takes advantage of him. Not to mention he has to run his butt off to even make a decent paycheck.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Taking online courses.
I have been racking my brain today trying to figure what my sourced blog was going to be about. Then I got to thinking why we are doing the blogs in the first place. We are blogging because we aren’t “traditional” students, and this is our way of having class discussions or conversations. We, for whatever reason, have decided to take classes online. I am sure most of us are because we still need to hold down a full time job plus go to school to try to better ourselves. I know I decided to do online classes because of that. The rate of unemployment in Missouri was 9.5% for January. This rate was still lower than the national average of 9.7%. I, by no means had any intentions of adding to that rate. Besides, my family still needed two sources of income to survive while I was attending college.
A few reasons to take online courses other than being able to work full time are:
*More flexibility- Allows you to do assignments at your own pace and when you choose, as
long as they are turned in on time.
*Save gas money- in this economy and with gas prices, it’s good to save every penny possible.
*You could save time-instead of spending time driving to campus you can use that time to study
or do assignments.
A couple good reasons to take classes on campus are:
*Better time management- your instructor reminds you when assignments are due.
*Personal Attention-you get immediate feedback during class.
*Change of scenery- Gets you out of the house and around other people.
*Access to more courses- Not all courses are offered online.
Even though taking online classes are better for me so I can continue to work full time, sometimes I wish I could take traditional classes. I would be able to get the immediate feedback that I sometimes need, and I would get out of the house and around other people that may have the same interests as me. Plus, I could possibly have more courses to choose from. Not all the courses I need are offered online right now, hopefully soon they will be and I will be able to do everything I need online.
A few reasons to take online courses other than being able to work full time are:
*More flexibility- Allows you to do assignments at your own pace and when you choose, as
long as they are turned in on time.
*Save gas money- in this economy and with gas prices, it’s good to save every penny possible.
*You could save time-instead of spending time driving to campus you can use that time to study
or do assignments.
A couple good reasons to take classes on campus are:
*Better time management- your instructor reminds you when assignments are due.
*Personal Attention-you get immediate feedback during class.
*Change of scenery- Gets you out of the house and around other people.
*Access to more courses- Not all courses are offered online.
Even though taking online classes are better for me so I can continue to work full time, sometimes I wish I could take traditional classes. I would be able to get the immediate feedback that I sometimes need, and I would get out of the house and around other people that may have the same interests as me. Plus, I could possibly have more courses to choose from. Not all the courses I need are offered online right now, hopefully soon they will be and I will be able to do everything I need online.
I don't know what to do anymore!
So my family member that I believe is on meth isn’t getting any better. Every time I think she is getting better, something happens to make me think otherwise. I am at a loss. I do not know what to do. I know that I can’t sit back and do nothing at all. Especially, when there is babies involved. I am terrified something may happen to her or the babies. Not so much the babies because they are always at either my house or my dad’s house. But I talked to her today and she found out that I talked to her husband, who she is separated from, about maybe setting up an intervention. He told me he didn’t think it would work and may be a waste of my time. Well, she found out that I talked to him and she asked me why. At first I didn’t tell her why but she pushed and pushed so I told her that I called him about setting up an intervention because I love her and believe she needs help. Well, she wasn’t very happy with this and now she tells me I won’t get to see her boys anymore. I asked her why she was being like this and she said because I am not her mother. But I was the one that helped take care of her when her mom wasn’t there. She always promised me she would NEVER keep the boys from me. Now she won’t answer my calls or anything.
I am so lost on what to do. I have called a local drug center that helps with interventions and such. The guy I talked to gave me a lot of good information. But she has to be willing to accept the help and go to rehab, we can’t force her. I really do not think she will willing go to rehab. She always tells me she isn’t doing anything. I think she is still in denial. I really do not know what to do anymore. I know I am so scared and worried. Her kids’ father is just as bad as I think she is. She tells me all the time that she doesn’t want that kind of life for her children and she doesn’t want to be around him. But yet we always see or hear of her being with him; hanging out. I am all for her having the kids’ dad in their lives but I am not sure that it is safe. Again, I am so confused and scared and worried. I do not know what to do.
I am so lost on what to do. I have called a local drug center that helps with interventions and such. The guy I talked to gave me a lot of good information. But she has to be willing to accept the help and go to rehab, we can’t force her. I really do not think she will willing go to rehab. She always tells me she isn’t doing anything. I think she is still in denial. I really do not know what to do anymore. I know I am so scared and worried. Her kids’ father is just as bad as I think she is. She tells me all the time that she doesn’t want that kind of life for her children and she doesn’t want to be around him. But yet we always see or hear of her being with him; hanging out. I am all for her having the kids’ dad in their lives but I am not sure that it is safe. Again, I am so confused and scared and worried. I do not know what to do.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Not enough time in the day!
I work a full time job, raise a family, and go to school ¾ time. So I am pretty busy all the time. I always feel like my mind is running a million miles a minute and it is leaving me behind.
My day starts at 6:00 am when I get my kids up for school and myself up for work. Getting my kids up is a chore in itself. They either fall back to sleep or start playing instead of getting dressed. It is hard for me to stay on them when I am trying to get ready myself. I eventually get them dressed and ready to go and we are out the door by 7:00 or 7:15 most days. I take them to school and head to work after getting my morning coffee. I get to work by 7:30; get everything set up to start my day. I take calls from people all day either wanting to order something or just asking questions about products. No big deal. I work at 4:30 and head to the babysitters to pick up my kids. When we get home, I immediately start dinner. While that is cooking I check my email and school assignments. Maybe even fit in a response or a class video before dinner is done. After dinner I clean up and continue homework until I feel comfortable enough with what I have done to go to bed, and actually be able to sleep without worrying about said school work. I end up getting to bed somewhere between 10:30 and 11:30 and start all over the next day.
No big deal, right? Sounds like a typical day for any working parent. The problem is I always feel like I am running and not getting anywhere. I try to get my husband to help and sometimes he does but it is so hard for me to let go of some of the control sometimes. Some may say I am controlling and sometimes I think I am but honestly, I don’t know how to stop. I would love to not worry about all the stuff I do. I worry about the kids getting to school on time, how they are getting home, the requirements of my job, what we have for dinner, and the kids getting to bed on time. I feel like if I don’t do it, it won’t get done. That is usually the case.
I am just so exhausted. I do not know what to do to make it better. I am afraid I am going to cause myself to have health problems related to stress and worrying. High blood pressure and diabetes run in my family and with my life style I am at high risk for both. I am trying so hard to not feel so overwhelmed all the time but it seems like a never ending battle no matter what I do. My mind is always running even when I try to sleep. I sleep with post it’s by my bed so when I can’t sleep I can write down what is keeping me awake so I can deal with it later. This has helped a little bit with the sleep issue but when I am awake is another story.
My day starts at 6:00 am when I get my kids up for school and myself up for work. Getting my kids up is a chore in itself. They either fall back to sleep or start playing instead of getting dressed. It is hard for me to stay on them when I am trying to get ready myself. I eventually get them dressed and ready to go and we are out the door by 7:00 or 7:15 most days. I take them to school and head to work after getting my morning coffee. I get to work by 7:30; get everything set up to start my day. I take calls from people all day either wanting to order something or just asking questions about products. No big deal. I work at 4:30 and head to the babysitters to pick up my kids. When we get home, I immediately start dinner. While that is cooking I check my email and school assignments. Maybe even fit in a response or a class video before dinner is done. After dinner I clean up and continue homework until I feel comfortable enough with what I have done to go to bed, and actually be able to sleep without worrying about said school work. I end up getting to bed somewhere between 10:30 and 11:30 and start all over the next day.
No big deal, right? Sounds like a typical day for any working parent. The problem is I always feel like I am running and not getting anywhere. I try to get my husband to help and sometimes he does but it is so hard for me to let go of some of the control sometimes. Some may say I am controlling and sometimes I think I am but honestly, I don’t know how to stop. I would love to not worry about all the stuff I do. I worry about the kids getting to school on time, how they are getting home, the requirements of my job, what we have for dinner, and the kids getting to bed on time. I feel like if I don’t do it, it won’t get done. That is usually the case.
I am just so exhausted. I do not know what to do to make it better. I am afraid I am going to cause myself to have health problems related to stress and worrying. High blood pressure and diabetes run in my family and with my life style I am at high risk for both. I am trying so hard to not feel so overwhelmed all the time but it seems like a never ending battle no matter what I do. My mind is always running even when I try to sleep. I sleep with post it’s by my bed so when I can’t sleep I can write down what is keeping me awake so I can deal with it later. This has helped a little bit with the sleep issue but when I am awake is another story.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Methamphetamine
Methamphetamine is known by many names, chalk, crank, croak, crypto, crystal, fire, glass, meth, and white cross just to name a few. (I will refer to it as meth.) Meth comes in many forms and can be used many ways. It also has MANY adverse effects on your health; such as; increased wakefulness, increased physical activity, decreased appetite and increased blood pressure are some of the immediate effects of using meth. Some effects of long term abuse are extreme negative weight loss, severe dental problems (also known as “meth mouth”), anxiety, confusion, insomnia, mood disturbances, and violent behavior. Chronic users experience paranoia, visual and auditory hallucination, and delusions. Intravenous users also have a higher risk of contracting HIV and hepatitis B and C.
The most effective treatments for meth addiction are comprehensive cognitive-behavioral interventions that combine behavioral therapy, family education, individual counseling, 12-step support, drug testing, and encouragement for non drug related activities.
In 2007, the number of individuals 12 years of age and older reporting past-year meth use declined from 1.9 million in 2006 to 1.3 million. Around 530,000 were a current user that is nearly .2% of the population. The average age of a first time user was 19 years in 2007, which is a lot sooner than the average age of 22 in 2006.
I chose to write about meth this week because within the last few months I found out that one of my family members was a “user.” It is the one of the worst feelings ever. It is even worse when you think this person will never lie to you and then they do. You want to believe them when they say they are done and don’t want to do it any longer but then they use again.
The family member that is/was using has a husband and kids. I believe she started using when she was with her children’s father. She left him about 3 months ago and told me she was leaving because he was on meth. I then found out a month or so after that she was using as well. She has been arrested and caught with drugs on her a couple times and I am terrified she is going to lose her family or worse her life. I miss her so much even though I see her at least once or twice a week. She isn’t the same when she is using. It hurts me knowing she is or could be using and I don’t know what to do. I have tried to talk to her but any time I bring it up she tells me she is done with it and don’t want to talk about it. But I do not know how I can believe she is done after all the lies she has told me. I have stopped giving her money. She used to call and ask to borrow money and I would loan to her. I yet to be paid back and I then find out she was using again. I can’t loan her money and not be able to trust that she is being something legal with. I am terrified and I have told her this but I am not sure it matters any more.
The most effective treatments for meth addiction are comprehensive cognitive-behavioral interventions that combine behavioral therapy, family education, individual counseling, 12-step support, drug testing, and encouragement for non drug related activities.
In 2007, the number of individuals 12 years of age and older reporting past-year meth use declined from 1.9 million in 2006 to 1.3 million. Around 530,000 were a current user that is nearly .2% of the population. The average age of a first time user was 19 years in 2007, which is a lot sooner than the average age of 22 in 2006.
I chose to write about meth this week because within the last few months I found out that one of my family members was a “user.” It is the one of the worst feelings ever. It is even worse when you think this person will never lie to you and then they do. You want to believe them when they say they are done and don’t want to do it any longer but then they use again.
The family member that is/was using has a husband and kids. I believe she started using when she was with her children’s father. She left him about 3 months ago and told me she was leaving because he was on meth. I then found out a month or so after that she was using as well. She has been arrested and caught with drugs on her a couple times and I am terrified she is going to lose her family or worse her life. I miss her so much even though I see her at least once or twice a week. She isn’t the same when she is using. It hurts me knowing she is or could be using and I don’t know what to do. I have tried to talk to her but any time I bring it up she tells me she is done with it and don’t want to talk about it. But I do not know how I can believe she is done after all the lies she has told me. I have stopped giving her money. She used to call and ask to borrow money and I would loan to her. I yet to be paid back and I then find out she was using again. I can’t loan her money and not be able to trust that she is being something legal with. I am terrified and I have told her this but I am not sure it matters any more.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Teen pregnancy
I decided to do my persuasive blog this week on teen pregnancy. The main reason is I had my two children at the age of 15 and 16. This issue really hits home for me and a few other people I know around this age.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has several preventive measures that can be taken to help prevent teen pregnancy. Such as changing the way the public views the problem by working with policymakers, the news media, state and local leaders, as well as other influential sectors to tackle the teen and unplanned pregnancy problem. This in turn can help improve overall child and family well-being. Another way is to develop, produce, and disseminate a wide range of materials such as cutting edge research to posters, postcard, and public service announcements. You could also encourage careful, consistent use of family planning practices by ALL who are sexually active and NOT seeking pregnancy. Encouraging responsible, healthy relationships among young adults to help them achieve their future family and career goals before becoming sexually active without contraceptives. Another good way would be to help parents realize their critical role they have in helping their children’s decisions about sex. One way I really like is working directly with young people. There are more than 7,000 young people that participate in the Youth Online Network, and close to 3 million have participated in the online National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy that work with policymakers, the press, and others that serve as powerful advocates in their own communities. I wish there was a pill or something that men could take as well as women so it doesn’t always fall on the woman to be protected. Yeah there are condoms but they are not 100% effective and neither is the pill or any other contraceptive but it helps lessen the chances.
I really wish there was more education when I was younger; not only about teen pregnancy but about drugs and alcohol. I was 14 when I got pregnant with my son and 15 when I got pregnant with my daughter. I dropped out of high school twice and finally got my GED. As much as I love my kids and would not trade them for the world I really wished I would have waited and had more active parents in my life. I would have been able to finish school, go to college earlier and make a better life for them. But I didn’t so I live everyday to the best of my ability. I know a few kids that pregnant either before me or right around the same time that ended up with their parents raising their kids so they could continue partying and doing drugs. However, I knew that it was my responsibility. I was the one that got myself into the situation and I was the one that would step up to the plate. One way that I think would be helpful, maybe not perfect, but I think any teen that is sexually active should have to have one of those dolls that are like real babies. That way they get the idea of what is like to have a kid and still go to school or to work. I baby-sat growing up and I loved it. But it in no way prepared me for taking care of a child full-time. I really like that show 16 and Pregnant on MTV. It’s kind of a wake up call to most and I personally can relate to them. I know most people don’t agree with me but I have seriously thought about putting my daughter on some sort of birth control when she is old enough. I pray to God that she won’t follow in my foot steps and I truly hope that she feels comfortable enough talking with me about this sort of stuff but just in case.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has several preventive measures that can be taken to help prevent teen pregnancy. Such as changing the way the public views the problem by working with policymakers, the news media, state and local leaders, as well as other influential sectors to tackle the teen and unplanned pregnancy problem. This in turn can help improve overall child and family well-being. Another way is to develop, produce, and disseminate a wide range of materials such as cutting edge research to posters, postcard, and public service announcements. You could also encourage careful, consistent use of family planning practices by ALL who are sexually active and NOT seeking pregnancy. Encouraging responsible, healthy relationships among young adults to help them achieve their future family and career goals before becoming sexually active without contraceptives. Another good way would be to help parents realize their critical role they have in helping their children’s decisions about sex. One way I really like is working directly with young people. There are more than 7,000 young people that participate in the Youth Online Network, and close to 3 million have participated in the online National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy that work with policymakers, the press, and others that serve as powerful advocates in their own communities. I wish there was a pill or something that men could take as well as women so it doesn’t always fall on the woman to be protected. Yeah there are condoms but they are not 100% effective and neither is the pill or any other contraceptive but it helps lessen the chances.
I really wish there was more education when I was younger; not only about teen pregnancy but about drugs and alcohol. I was 14 when I got pregnant with my son and 15 when I got pregnant with my daughter. I dropped out of high school twice and finally got my GED. As much as I love my kids and would not trade them for the world I really wished I would have waited and had more active parents in my life. I would have been able to finish school, go to college earlier and make a better life for them. But I didn’t so I live everyday to the best of my ability. I know a few kids that pregnant either before me or right around the same time that ended up with their parents raising their kids so they could continue partying and doing drugs. However, I knew that it was my responsibility. I was the one that got myself into the situation and I was the one that would step up to the plate. One way that I think would be helpful, maybe not perfect, but I think any teen that is sexually active should have to have one of those dolls that are like real babies. That way they get the idea of what is like to have a kid and still go to school or to work. I baby-sat growing up and I loved it. But it in no way prepared me for taking care of a child full-time. I really like that show 16 and Pregnant on MTV. It’s kind of a wake up call to most and I personally can relate to them. I know most people don’t agree with me but I have seriously thought about putting my daughter on some sort of birth control when she is old enough. I pray to God that she won’t follow in my foot steps and I truly hope that she feels comfortable enough talking with me about this sort of stuff but just in case.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
My new truck and my first experience with a mechanic shop.
I recently decided to buy a new truck. I traded in my Jeep Grand Cherokee on a Dodge Durango. It has third row seating; which is nice when I have my nieces and nephews; it has leather seats, rear air, etc. It is a nice truck and I REALLY like it. I got it on the 20th of January.
Well, this past Sunday, my husband and I were driving back from his work and the check gauges light came on. Great! My husband looked down at the instrument panel and the heat gauge was creeping up. I immediately start stressing because I have had vehicles overheat and crack a head or blow a head gasket-which isn’t good. We get home and park the truck and didn’t think anything more about it. We go out the next morning and start to let it warm up to take the kids to school. It didn’t get hot at all while it was idling. The minute we start driving, however, the temperature gauge starts creeping up there again. We bring it home and park it again. My husband, who works for a tow truck company, towed to a local shop. The shop looks at it and runs some tests and tells me that it is a cracked head or blown head gasket and it would cost anywhere in the range of $900 to $1100 to fix. HOLY COW!! However, since I have had experience with this type of issue it didn’t seem right. All the experiences I have had are if it is a head or head gasket then it gets hot even while idling. The guy at the shop had a good explanation of why it was getting hot while idling but I wanted a second opinion. My husband towed my truck to the actual dealership shop to get the second opinion. They had it for a couple hours and called and told me that they put more coolant in it and a new radiator cap. He also said that they drove it like 15 miles and it didn’t get hot. Which is a good thing because we couldn’t even drive it three blocks before it would get hot. So that is the good news. The bad news he had was I was losing coolant. GREAT!! He said that where it was leaking meant either a freeze plug or a cracked block. EVEN GREATER!! A cracked block is SO much worse than a cracked head or a blown head gasket. He said to find out which it is they would have to pull my transmission. OK fine. That would cost $650. That’s a good chunk of change but still less than the head issue. He assured me that it wasn’t anything to do with the heads at all. The reason the test (vapor test) the first shop did failed was because the “vapors” were escaping out either the cracked block or the freeze plug, whichever the problem was. I felt pretty confident at this time that I had made the right decision to get a second opinion. They pulled the transmission and found out it was just a freeze plug, $10 as opposed to probably a couple thousand! YAY!! Things are looking up. So now I am sitting here waiting for the call so I can go get my truck. I am so excited.
I decided to write about this experience I have been going through all week because I just knew when the first shop told me their answer that that wasn’t right. Not saying that they are incompetent in their job but I just knew in my gut that wasn’t right. It wasn’t that it would be expensive but somehow I just knew that wasn’t what was wrong. My dad was always working on cars, so I know a little bit. This was just another example of gut instinct and I am glad that I listened to mine. Unless, of course, this doesn’t fix it and I end up back at the shop.
Well, this past Sunday, my husband and I were driving back from his work and the check gauges light came on. Great! My husband looked down at the instrument panel and the heat gauge was creeping up. I immediately start stressing because I have had vehicles overheat and crack a head or blow a head gasket-which isn’t good. We get home and park the truck and didn’t think anything more about it. We go out the next morning and start to let it warm up to take the kids to school. It didn’t get hot at all while it was idling. The minute we start driving, however, the temperature gauge starts creeping up there again. We bring it home and park it again. My husband, who works for a tow truck company, towed to a local shop. The shop looks at it and runs some tests and tells me that it is a cracked head or blown head gasket and it would cost anywhere in the range of $900 to $1100 to fix. HOLY COW!! However, since I have had experience with this type of issue it didn’t seem right. All the experiences I have had are if it is a head or head gasket then it gets hot even while idling. The guy at the shop had a good explanation of why it was getting hot while idling but I wanted a second opinion. My husband towed my truck to the actual dealership shop to get the second opinion. They had it for a couple hours and called and told me that they put more coolant in it and a new radiator cap. He also said that they drove it like 15 miles and it didn’t get hot. Which is a good thing because we couldn’t even drive it three blocks before it would get hot. So that is the good news. The bad news he had was I was losing coolant. GREAT!! He said that where it was leaking meant either a freeze plug or a cracked block. EVEN GREATER!! A cracked block is SO much worse than a cracked head or a blown head gasket. He said to find out which it is they would have to pull my transmission. OK fine. That would cost $650. That’s a good chunk of change but still less than the head issue. He assured me that it wasn’t anything to do with the heads at all. The reason the test (vapor test) the first shop did failed was because the “vapors” were escaping out either the cracked block or the freeze plug, whichever the problem was. I felt pretty confident at this time that I had made the right decision to get a second opinion. They pulled the transmission and found out it was just a freeze plug, $10 as opposed to probably a couple thousand! YAY!! Things are looking up. So now I am sitting here waiting for the call so I can go get my truck. I am so excited.
I decided to write about this experience I have been going through all week because I just knew when the first shop told me their answer that that wasn’t right. Not saying that they are incompetent in their job but I just knew in my gut that wasn’t right. It wasn’t that it would be expensive but somehow I just knew that wasn’t what was wrong. My dad was always working on cars, so I know a little bit. This was just another example of gut instinct and I am glad that I listened to mine. Unless, of course, this doesn’t fix it and I end up back at the shop.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
We are not in high school any more
I work in a call center in my town. I am customer service representative/sales professional. We are contracted with a local electronics retailer. So, basically, I answer the phone answer the phone and answer any questions the customer has and the company would like for us to make sales. Sometimes that is possible but not all the time. They would like for us to have a 15% close rate. That would 15 sales out of 100 calls. Which thankfully we do not normally get 100 calls a day. It is more around less than 50, especially now that the Christmas season is over. We sign into a phone system and when we go on broke we have what is called an AUX code we go into for breaks, lunches and meetings. The phone is also set up in a way that when you get off of a call your phone goes into ACW-after call work- to give you time to finish up notes from the last call.
I bet you’re wondering “How is this like High School?” Well let me tell you. The idea of the job is you take the calls, help the customer, notate the account about what you did and then “auto in” to take the next call. Which the more calls you take the more chance you have to make more sales. More sales, higher close rater. Higher close rate, the more of a chance you have to make a bonus for that month. Well, I have several people around me that will sit in ACW and gossip with people around them or surf the internet (which is not allowed, unless it is work related). Or they will go into a meeting AUX and walk around. What irritates me is I am sitting there taking back to back for an hour and everyone around me is goofing off. Granted I have a higher chance of making more sales and getting bonus but it is hard to stay on track when everyone around is being loud. I have, on several, occasions taken it upon myself to tell people to do their job, auto in and take calls. But then I have to deal with the ridiculing because I am “gripping”. I have also gone to my supervisor with this problem and I still haven’t seen any change. I am to the point now where I am like I will do my job to the best of my ability and TRY to block them out. I would love to see these “adults” in any other work environment where they don’t have the AUX codes to go into to blow off their responsibility. Some of them wouldn’t make it. They would either be fired or quit because they wouldn’t be able to take a break every 30 minutes, they would actually have to work.
The management team doesn’t help a lot either. Like I said I have told my supervisor and her supervisor and nothing is changing. I cannot afford to quit my job and there really isn’t a whole lot of options out there…hence the reason I am going back to school.
I bet you’re wondering “How is this like High School?” Well let me tell you. The idea of the job is you take the calls, help the customer, notate the account about what you did and then “auto in” to take the next call. Which the more calls you take the more chance you have to make more sales. More sales, higher close rater. Higher close rate, the more of a chance you have to make a bonus for that month. Well, I have several people around me that will sit in ACW and gossip with people around them or surf the internet (which is not allowed, unless it is work related). Or they will go into a meeting AUX and walk around. What irritates me is I am sitting there taking back to back for an hour and everyone around me is goofing off. Granted I have a higher chance of making more sales and getting bonus but it is hard to stay on track when everyone around is being loud. I have, on several, occasions taken it upon myself to tell people to do their job, auto in and take calls. But then I have to deal with the ridiculing because I am “gripping”. I have also gone to my supervisor with this problem and I still haven’t seen any change. I am to the point now where I am like I will do my job to the best of my ability and TRY to block them out. I would love to see these “adults” in any other work environment where they don’t have the AUX codes to go into to blow off their responsibility. Some of them wouldn’t make it. They would either be fired or quit because they wouldn’t be able to take a break every 30 minutes, they would actually have to work.
The management team doesn’t help a lot either. Like I said I have told my supervisor and her supervisor and nothing is changing. I cannot afford to quit my job and there really isn’t a whole lot of options out there…hence the reason I am going back to school.
To pray or seek medical attention?
There is an organization called Children’s Healthcare Is a Legal Duty or CHILD Inc. It is a non-profit national membership organization established in 1983 to protect children from abusive religious and cultural practices, especially religion-based medical neglect. CHILD is also a member of the National Child Abuse Coalition.
I read several stories of children being sick or fatally hurt and the parents or guardian chose to not seek medical help. They chose to pray and trust their child to Christian Science practitioner; which believes that as long as you pray everything will be OK. In one instance a child needed a blood transplant and his guardian would not allow him to get it because of the belief he would be impure if he did. She also believed that god was using her child as a learning tool for the hospital to learn to treat the disease he had by prayer. In another instance a two year old boy died from being stung over 430 times by wasps. Instead of taking him to the hospital or call 911 they chose to ask children and fellow church members to pray for him. After 7 hours after the attack they decided to call EMT’s. After they arrived his parents admitted that the boy had been unresponsive for 30-45 minutes. A pediatrician in Orlando told the press that the toddler may have been able to survive if he would have received medical treatment.
Now I am not saying people shouldn't pray. I pray every night. However, when my kids need medical attention I take them to the hospital. My nephew almost drowned 1 ½ years ago and believe me I prayed my heart out. But we also called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital. The hospital was able to stabilize him and then he was taken by helicopter to St. John’s in Springfield, MO. He was there for 10 days in ICU and finally made a full recovery. He is a healthy three almost four year old now. But I believe if we wouldn’t have called 911 when we did he would not have survived. The doctors did all they could and no matter what doctors do or don’t do it is always Gods decision rather what they do helps or not. A doctor can do everything in the world but if it is time for that child or even adult to go then God will take them home. But I believe the child or person should have the option to seek medical attention and have the option to live.
I am sure that there are a lot of people out there that would disagree with me but I feel if God intended us to rely solely on prayer then he would not have given us the knowledge of medicine.
I read several stories of children being sick or fatally hurt and the parents or guardian chose to not seek medical help. They chose to pray and trust their child to Christian Science practitioner; which believes that as long as you pray everything will be OK. In one instance a child needed a blood transplant and his guardian would not allow him to get it because of the belief he would be impure if he did. She also believed that god was using her child as a learning tool for the hospital to learn to treat the disease he had by prayer. In another instance a two year old boy died from being stung over 430 times by wasps. Instead of taking him to the hospital or call 911 they chose to ask children and fellow church members to pray for him. After 7 hours after the attack they decided to call EMT’s. After they arrived his parents admitted that the boy had been unresponsive for 30-45 minutes. A pediatrician in Orlando told the press that the toddler may have been able to survive if he would have received medical treatment.
Now I am not saying people shouldn't pray. I pray every night. However, when my kids need medical attention I take them to the hospital. My nephew almost drowned 1 ½ years ago and believe me I prayed my heart out. But we also called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital. The hospital was able to stabilize him and then he was taken by helicopter to St. John’s in Springfield, MO. He was there for 10 days in ICU and finally made a full recovery. He is a healthy three almost four year old now. But I believe if we wouldn’t have called 911 when we did he would not have survived. The doctors did all they could and no matter what doctors do or don’t do it is always Gods decision rather what they do helps or not. A doctor can do everything in the world but if it is time for that child or even adult to go then God will take them home. But I believe the child or person should have the option to seek medical attention and have the option to live.
I am sure that there are a lot of people out there that would disagree with me but I feel if God intended us to rely solely on prayer then he would not have given us the knowledge of medicine.
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