Last blog of the semester!!! :(

So this is the last blog of the semester. I am not 100% sure if I am going to stay up with this blog thing or not. I might, however, because it is a little bit of a stress reliever. Those of you that have read my blogs know that I have a lot of stuff going on, seems to be not stop. The latest is my family member decided to run to Oklahoma so she can have her kids. Right now they are not in DFS custody, however, a caseworker contacted me a few weeks ago and told me that she did not think it was a good idea for the boys to be living with her until she is able to get a job and get her own place. And even then, the caseworker has to approve of the house. Her moving to Oklahoma is just going to make things worse in the long run. Plus her and her boyfriend are living with my aunt and she doesn’t need any added stress. She is already taken care of her sisters kids. I am worried the my aunt doesn’t know what she is getting into by letting her live there. But I am to the point where I don’t want her around my house because I can not trust her or her boyfriend. They came over to my house on Mother’s Day and my husband and I were arguing and she talked to me room mate and then they left. Later, that evening I noticed my $400 camera was missing. I asked my husband and roommate if they had and they said no. The only other people in our house that day was my family member and her boyfriend. I didn’t want to think they took but there isnt any other explanation.

Mu husband and I are better now, for the most part. I really don’t know what to do about that any more. I kind of just looked over it because I don’t know what to do. And don’t want to make the wrong decision.

Well, like I said before this is the last blog of the semester. I, personally, am going to enjoy my time off. Howev er, I am taking summer classes so it will be short lived. I know that as long as I work hard and keep my mind set I can get through these next couple years and hopefully be living my dream life free of drama.

My rant for week ending 5/7/2010.....I am so confused.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years and have been together for 10 years. He has cheated on me before when we were younger and I forgave him because we have 2 kids together. Plus, we were young and I thought it was something he needed to get out of his system. So, I stuck by him through it all and forgave him. However, you never forget something like that. After all these years, I have learned to trust him again and our relationship has gotten better. Well, at least, I thought it was. We have a roommate that has been a family friend for as long as I can remember. I was messing around with her phone last night, not being nosey, but just checking it out. I found a text message on there from my husband that pertained to them being intimate. I asked him about it and he says he sent it playing around. I looked at his phone, which I haven’t done in like 3 or 4 years because I had no reason to, and all his messages had been erased since the 6th. I really get suspicious and I then ask our roommate about it, she said she never seen the message. The day the message was sent she was out with a guy friend and she thinks maybe her guy friend seen it and responded. I don’t really no. I am not sure I believe it entirely. But I truly believe that our roommate wouldn’t do that to me. We have been friends forever. It doesn’t stop me from believing that my husband would still try to sleep with her. After we discuss all that and I am just so mad and hurt that I just drop it. I started looking at our phone bill to see if maybe, just maybe, there was a way to see what the messages said that were sent. I notice on the bill that there is an unknown number on there. At least it was unknown to me. I asked my husband about it and he said it was a girl that works at the store up the road from us that took one of our puppies. I also noticed that they were texting at almost 1 am in the morning. I asked him what was up with that and he said that the puppy was sick and they were texting about the puppy. Then I noticed that they were texting all afternoon yesterday. He again said it was about the puppy. I asked him why all the texts were erased from his phone and he said because he knew I would blow it out of proportion and jump to conclusions so he deleted them. I told him if they were really talking about the puppy there would have been no reason for me to over react. But he erased the messages and it makes me think-what is he trying to hide. Now I am at this point that I can’t trust him and I hate feeling that way. I don’t know what to do. Should I believe and look the other way or should I go with my gut and leave?

This made me want to cry!

I recently read a news article on ABC.com and it made me want to cry. It was talking about child sex trafficking. Most of the teens or children are looking for a father figure. These men, pimps, thrive on that and use it to their advantage. They tell these girls everything will be ok as long as they are with them they pimp them out to other men, and even women. Most all, if not all, of these girls are abused mentally and physically not only by their pimps but by other girls that they are housed with. Threats to hurt the girls’ family keep them from running away and trying to reconnect with family.

M.S. was a pre-teen who lost her mother at a young age and she only saw her father on the holidays and craved a father figure. She thought she had found that father figure in a man that would patrol up and down her street, “wooing” her. M.S. stated she “just fell into his arm.” This is what these men want. They want you to believe that they wouldn’t hurt you or put you in harm’s way. That is what M.S. thought when this man invited her to go on a drive with him but she never returned home. For four years she was forced into child prostitution with four different pimps. She rarely, if ever, got to keep any of the $1500 she made every day. M.S. also stated she thought child prostitution was what she was supposed to do, so she did it. She didn’t know any different. She was terrified to runaway for fear of the pimps hurting her family becoming a reality. This was even after her grandmother and sister handed out missing person fliers in hopes of finding her.

This is something you don’t always think is going on in America; when you hear of “sex slaves,” most people thing Cambodia or even Delhi. The Department of Justice estimates more than 250,000 American youth are at risk of becoming victims of commercial sexual exploitation. The average age for female prostitutes in the US is between 12 and 14 years old. These statistics are one reason why Demi Moore and her husband Ashton Kutcher started The Demi and Ashton Foundation to raise awareness about the issue of sex slavery worldwide.

Like I said in the beginning, I read this story and wanted to cry. I couldn’t image losing my daughter not to mention thinking of her being used as a sex slave as young as 12. She is 9 now, and I would be horrified to think something like this could happen to my daughter. One of the things that is aiding in the rise of child sex trafficking is the internet. My daughter is currently not allowed on the internet. I know there will come a day where she will need the computer and internet for school work and such but when that day comes you better believe I will do my VERY best to monitor what is going on when she is longed into the PC.