So this is the last blog of the semester. I am not 100% sure if I am going to stay up with this blog thing or not. I might, however, because it is a little bit of a stress reliever. Those of you that have read my blogs know that I have a lot of stuff going on, seems to be not stop. The latest is my family member decided to run to Oklahoma so she can have her kids. Right now they are not in DFS custody, however, a caseworker contacted me a few weeks ago and told me that she did not think it was a good idea for the boys to be living with her until she is able to get a job and get her own place. And even then, the caseworker has to approve of the house. Her moving to Oklahoma is just going to make things worse in the long run. Plus her and her boyfriend are living with my aunt and she doesn’t need any added stress. She is already taken care of her sisters kids. I am worried the my aunt doesn’t know what she is getting into by letting her live there. But I am to the point where I don’t want her around my house because I can not trust her or her boyfriend. They came over to my house on Mother’s Day and my husband and I were arguing and she talked to me room mate and then they left. Later, that evening I noticed my $400 camera was missing. I asked my husband and roommate if they had and they said no. The only other people in our house that day was my family member and her boyfriend. I didn’t want to think they took but there isnt any other explanation.
Mu husband and I are better now, for the most part. I really don’t know what to do about that any more. I kind of just looked over it because I don’t know what to do. And don’t want to make the wrong decision.
Well, like I said before this is the last blog of the semester. I, personally, am going to enjoy my time off. Howev er, I am taking summer classes so it will be short lived. I know that as long as I work hard and keep my mind set I can get through these next couple years and hopefully be living my dream life free of drama.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
My rant for week ending 5/7/2010.....I am so confused.
My husband and I have been married for 4 years and have been together for 10 years. He has cheated on me before when we were younger and I forgave him because we have 2 kids together. Plus, we were young and I thought it was something he needed to get out of his system. So, I stuck by him through it all and forgave him. However, you never forget something like that. After all these years, I have learned to trust him again and our relationship has gotten better. Well, at least, I thought it was. We have a roommate that has been a family friend for as long as I can remember. I was messing around with her phone last night, not being nosey, but just checking it out. I found a text message on there from my husband that pertained to them being intimate. I asked him about it and he says he sent it playing around. I looked at his phone, which I haven’t done in like 3 or 4 years because I had no reason to, and all his messages had been erased since the 6th. I really get suspicious and I then ask our roommate about it, she said she never seen the message. The day the message was sent she was out with a guy friend and she thinks maybe her guy friend seen it and responded. I don’t really no. I am not sure I believe it entirely. But I truly believe that our roommate wouldn’t do that to me. We have been friends forever. It doesn’t stop me from believing that my husband would still try to sleep with her. After we discuss all that and I am just so mad and hurt that I just drop it. I started looking at our phone bill to see if maybe, just maybe, there was a way to see what the messages said that were sent. I notice on the bill that there is an unknown number on there. At least it was unknown to me. I asked my husband about it and he said it was a girl that works at the store up the road from us that took one of our puppies. I also noticed that they were texting at almost 1 am in the morning. I asked him what was up with that and he said that the puppy was sick and they were texting about the puppy. Then I noticed that they were texting all afternoon yesterday. He again said it was about the puppy. I asked him why all the texts were erased from his phone and he said because he knew I would blow it out of proportion and jump to conclusions so he deleted them. I told him if they were really talking about the puppy there would have been no reason for me to over react. But he erased the messages and it makes me think-what is he trying to hide. Now I am at this point that I can’t trust him and I hate feeling that way. I don’t know what to do. Should I believe and look the other way or should I go with my gut and leave?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
This made me want to cry!
I recently read a news article on ABC.com and it made me want to cry. It was talking about child sex trafficking. Most of the teens or children are looking for a father figure. These men, pimps, thrive on that and use it to their advantage. They tell these girls everything will be ok as long as they are with them they pimp them out to other men, and even women. Most all, if not all, of these girls are abused mentally and physically not only by their pimps but by other girls that they are housed with. Threats to hurt the girls’ family keep them from running away and trying to reconnect with family.
M.S. was a pre-teen who lost her mother at a young age and she only saw her father on the holidays and craved a father figure. She thought she had found that father figure in a man that would patrol up and down her street, “wooing” her. M.S. stated she “just fell into his arm.” This is what these men want. They want you to believe that they wouldn’t hurt you or put you in harm’s way. That is what M.S. thought when this man invited her to go on a drive with him but she never returned home. For four years she was forced into child prostitution with four different pimps. She rarely, if ever, got to keep any of the $1500 she made every day. M.S. also stated she thought child prostitution was what she was supposed to do, so she did it. She didn’t know any different. She was terrified to runaway for fear of the pimps hurting her family becoming a reality. This was even after her grandmother and sister handed out missing person fliers in hopes of finding her.
This is something you don’t always think is going on in America; when you hear of “sex slaves,” most people thing Cambodia or even Delhi. The Department of Justice estimates more than 250,000 American youth are at risk of becoming victims of commercial sexual exploitation. The average age for female prostitutes in the US is between 12 and 14 years old. These statistics are one reason why Demi Moore and her husband Ashton Kutcher started The Demi and Ashton Foundation to raise awareness about the issue of sex slavery worldwide.
Like I said in the beginning, I read this story and wanted to cry. I couldn’t image losing my daughter not to mention thinking of her being used as a sex slave as young as 12. She is 9 now, and I would be horrified to think something like this could happen to my daughter. One of the things that is aiding in the rise of child sex trafficking is the internet. My daughter is currently not allowed on the internet. I know there will come a day where she will need the computer and internet for school work and such but when that day comes you better believe I will do my VERY best to monitor what is going on when she is longed into the PC.
M.S. was a pre-teen who lost her mother at a young age and she only saw her father on the holidays and craved a father figure. She thought she had found that father figure in a man that would patrol up and down her street, “wooing” her. M.S. stated she “just fell into his arm.” This is what these men want. They want you to believe that they wouldn’t hurt you or put you in harm’s way. That is what M.S. thought when this man invited her to go on a drive with him but she never returned home. For four years she was forced into child prostitution with four different pimps. She rarely, if ever, got to keep any of the $1500 she made every day. M.S. also stated she thought child prostitution was what she was supposed to do, so she did it. She didn’t know any different. She was terrified to runaway for fear of the pimps hurting her family becoming a reality. This was even after her grandmother and sister handed out missing person fliers in hopes of finding her.
This is something you don’t always think is going on in America; when you hear of “sex slaves,” most people thing Cambodia or even Delhi. The Department of Justice estimates more than 250,000 American youth are at risk of becoming victims of commercial sexual exploitation. The average age for female prostitutes in the US is between 12 and 14 years old. These statistics are one reason why Demi Moore and her husband Ashton Kutcher started The Demi and Ashton Foundation to raise awareness about the issue of sex slavery worldwide.
Like I said in the beginning, I read this story and wanted to cry. I couldn’t image losing my daughter not to mention thinking of her being used as a sex slave as young as 12. She is 9 now, and I would be horrified to think something like this could happen to my daughter. One of the things that is aiding in the rise of child sex trafficking is the internet. My daughter is currently not allowed on the internet. I know there will come a day where she will need the computer and internet for school work and such but when that day comes you better believe I will do my VERY best to monitor what is going on when she is longed into the PC.
Friday, April 30, 2010
What a wonderful week!!!
So this week started out pretty stressful. Monday morning I get up, fight my kids as normal to get up for school, and then I get dressed for work. I then drop the kids off at school and then head to work. I get to work at 7:30 am so I sit in the parking lot for a little bit listening to the radio before going into work. While I am sitting there I get a call from my family members’ boyfriends stepmom (if that isn’t confusing) telling me that some stuff went down over the weekend and I needed to contact a lawyer and file for emergency guardianship. I asked her why so she gave me the number of a caseworker to call. I call the caseworker and she said it doesn’t have to be an emergency but she would like one filed since the family member and her boyfriend have been known for drugs, etc. So I spent all day on the phone trying to find a lawyer that didn’t want an arm and a leg to file the guardianship. I talk to my dad about it and you could tell by his voice he expected me to pay part of the lawyer fee. Which I don’t mind doing if we share guardianship and if I had the money to spare. So that day was very exhausting, mentally.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was in bed most of the day because I hurt my back and could barely move. Thursday I woke up sick and throwing up, so I decided I would go into work late so I could get some Ginger Ale or Sprite to help settle my stomach. I lay back down until 10:00 and got up, and got dressed for work. I was still feeling pretty crappy but I still needed to go into work. I go outside to start my truck and all I get was a clicking noise. I thought GREAT!!! So I called my husband and told him I thought the battery was dead. He told me to turn the negative battery cable. So, I did and nothing. I turned it as far as it would go both ways and still nothing. At this time I feel very overwhelmed, plus I still feel sick. I call my husband back and he comes by the house and messes with the battery for a little bit and he finally got it to where it would whorl over but would not start. At this point I begin to cry because I feel so overwhelmed. My husband gets mad because he couldn’t figure it out and leaves. I decide to call Dodge and talk to the service manager (we are on a first name basis) and tell him what is going on and he tells me he thinks the battery doesn’t have enough charge to actually start it. I tell my husband and he thinks I am crazy and don’t know what I am talking about and says he isn’t going to mess with it. I decide to go out to my truck and I take the negative battery terminal off and clean the cable and hook the jumper cables directly up to the cables on the truck. And what do you know….IT STARTS!!! It wouldn’t idle at first but it then straightened out and was great. Haven’t had any more problems out of it. Needless to say my husband was a little upset that I proved him wrong.
Friday-I fought with the electric company most of the day over my bill and then I found this evening that my step-grandmother passed away this morning from cancer. She was the only mom my mother really new. My mom is pretty torn up about it. The visitation is Sunday and the funeral is Monday.
So that is my week. Tomorrow (Saturday) we get to go to Springfield for a Springfield Cardinals game. My son’s baseball team was chosen to go. They get to meet the players, get autographs, go out on the field with the team, get the pictures taken, and then sit right by the team’s dugout box. So, maybe some relaxation.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was in bed most of the day because I hurt my back and could barely move. Thursday I woke up sick and throwing up, so I decided I would go into work late so I could get some Ginger Ale or Sprite to help settle my stomach. I lay back down until 10:00 and got up, and got dressed for work. I was still feeling pretty crappy but I still needed to go into work. I go outside to start my truck and all I get was a clicking noise. I thought GREAT!!! So I called my husband and told him I thought the battery was dead. He told me to turn the negative battery cable. So, I did and nothing. I turned it as far as it would go both ways and still nothing. At this time I feel very overwhelmed, plus I still feel sick. I call my husband back and he comes by the house and messes with the battery for a little bit and he finally got it to where it would whorl over but would not start. At this point I begin to cry because I feel so overwhelmed. My husband gets mad because he couldn’t figure it out and leaves. I decide to call Dodge and talk to the service manager (we are on a first name basis) and tell him what is going on and he tells me he thinks the battery doesn’t have enough charge to actually start it. I tell my husband and he thinks I am crazy and don’t know what I am talking about and says he isn’t going to mess with it. I decide to go out to my truck and I take the negative battery terminal off and clean the cable and hook the jumper cables directly up to the cables on the truck. And what do you know….IT STARTS!!! It wouldn’t idle at first but it then straightened out and was great. Haven’t had any more problems out of it. Needless to say my husband was a little upset that I proved him wrong.
Friday-I fought with the electric company most of the day over my bill and then I found this evening that my step-grandmother passed away this morning from cancer. She was the only mom my mother really new. My mom is pretty torn up about it. The visitation is Sunday and the funeral is Monday.
So that is my week. Tomorrow (Saturday) we get to go to Springfield for a Springfield Cardinals game. My son’s baseball team was chosen to go. They get to meet the players, get autographs, go out on the field with the team, get the pictures taken, and then sit right by the team’s dugout box. So, maybe some relaxation.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My memory card....and my best friend.
This past weekend, my best friend and I were heading back from Carthage listening to the memory card in my stereo. I have several songs from all different genres and artist. On our way back from Carthage, we were listening to Darius Rucker. Since the songs are in alphabetical order, there were quite a few songs by him that played one after another. I do like Darius Rucker. I had never really listened to him until my husband took me to the concert of my favorite band, Rascal Flatts, last summer. Every since then I have liked his music. My best friend, being the smart-a** that she is asked “you don’t like Darius Rucker do you?” I said “well yeah.” We then got on the subject of who Darius Rucker is and the fact that he used to be the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. She asked me if I listen to Hootie and the Blowfish and I told her not that I know of. I didn’t run out and buy their albums or anything. This may be weird, but the name “Hootie and the Blowfish” just didn’t sound appealing to me, like anything I would listen to. So when we got home we decided to look them up and I realized I listened to some of their songs when I was younger. I downloaded some of their songs to my computer so I can then transfer them to my memory card.
My best friend thought I was weird for not having Hootie and the Blowfish on it but having Darius Rucker. But she also thinks I am weird for having artists like The Johnas Brothers, Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus), and Selena Gomez but I have a 9 year old and 10 year old that likes those artists, and since they ride with me most of the time, I have to have stuff they like as well on there. I try to keep all the songs I have on there, kid friendly, because the kids do ride with me all the time and I also have my nephews on the weekend. I don’t listen to hard rap or heavy metal. I mainly listen to country and of course the stuff from the Disney channel. I listen to some hip hop when the kids aren’t in the truck.
I am hoping maybe by putting some Hootie and the Blowfish on the memory card my best friend and I won’t have the “you’re weird” discussion, at least not about this any way. If the ride was any longer then she would have really thought I was crazy because I have a ton of Rascal Flatts on the memory card.
My best friend thought I was weird for not having Hootie and the Blowfish on it but having Darius Rucker. But she also thinks I am weird for having artists like The Johnas Brothers, Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus), and Selena Gomez but I have a 9 year old and 10 year old that likes those artists, and since they ride with me most of the time, I have to have stuff they like as well on there. I try to keep all the songs I have on there, kid friendly, because the kids do ride with me all the time and I also have my nephews on the weekend. I don’t listen to hard rap or heavy metal. I mainly listen to country and of course the stuff from the Disney channel. I listen to some hip hop when the kids aren’t in the truck.
I am hoping maybe by putting some Hootie and the Blowfish on the memory card my best friend and I won’t have the “you’re weird” discussion, at least not about this any way. If the ride was any longer then she would have really thought I was crazy because I have a ton of Rascal Flatts on the memory card.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Blogging about blogs.
I have been racking my brain all weekend and all week about what to write my sourced blog about. So I decided to blog about blogs.
A blog is a contraction of the term “web log” which is a type of website that is usually maintained by an individual with regular entries. The entries can be anything, such as, commentary, descriptions of events, or any other material like graphics or video. “Blog” can also be used as a verb, meaning “to maintain or add content to a blog.” It is basically like a diary that can be viewed publicly and people can comment on. So on any blog you would want to be careful what you blog about and who you mention in those blogs.
I know why I am blogging. It is required for school, otherwise I wouldn’t be blogging. It is believed that people blog to have a voice no matter how small; to be heard. It is a way to share your thoughts, vent, and complain to the public at large. There are even people who blog about politics and sports that would not be otherwise heard if they did not blog. If I did keep a blog every day, and not for school, most of mine, if not all of them, would be rants; like a diary. I used to keep a diary when I was a kid and it helped a lot with what was going on in my life. It made me feel like I was getting it out in the open even if no one heard it.
Before blogging for school, I had only heard of a “blog” on Myspace.com. I read other peoples blogs on there but never kept up with my own. The blogs on MySpace are the way I found out my grandmother was in a terrible car accident a few years ago, because my step family didn’t have my new number. That is how I got all the updates on her health, as well as, my grandfather’s health through it all.
Since starting my blog on Blogger.com I have given some of my family members that live out of town my web address so they can read them and possibly stay caught up on what is going on. Blogging is now my way of ranting to try to relieve stress. I am glad that we are allowed to have one blog a week that is a rant.
A blog is a contraction of the term “web log” which is a type of website that is usually maintained by an individual with regular entries. The entries can be anything, such as, commentary, descriptions of events, or any other material like graphics or video. “Blog” can also be used as a verb, meaning “to maintain or add content to a blog.” It is basically like a diary that can be viewed publicly and people can comment on. So on any blog you would want to be careful what you blog about and who you mention in those blogs.
I know why I am blogging. It is required for school, otherwise I wouldn’t be blogging. It is believed that people blog to have a voice no matter how small; to be heard. It is a way to share your thoughts, vent, and complain to the public at large. There are even people who blog about politics and sports that would not be otherwise heard if they did not blog. If I did keep a blog every day, and not for school, most of mine, if not all of them, would be rants; like a diary. I used to keep a diary when I was a kid and it helped a lot with what was going on in my life. It made me feel like I was getting it out in the open even if no one heard it.
Before blogging for school, I had only heard of a “blog” on Myspace.com. I read other peoples blogs on there but never kept up with my own. The blogs on MySpace are the way I found out my grandmother was in a terrible car accident a few years ago, because my step family didn’t have my new number. That is how I got all the updates on her health, as well as, my grandfather’s health through it all.
Since starting my blog on Blogger.com I have given some of my family members that live out of town my web address so they can read them and possibly stay caught up on what is going on. Blogging is now my way of ranting to try to relieve stress. I am glad that we are allowed to have one blog a week that is a rant.
Family is so wonderful.....sometimes.
Well this last weekend was crazy. It started out my family member was yet again arrested on Thursday for possession of drug paraphernalia. She called another family member to be bonded out. That person called to see about getting her bonded out but he was advised she was put on a 24 hour hold for suspicion of fraudulent misuse of a credit card. She was able to be bonded out the next day on Friday. So the person she asked to bond her out, in fact did. She was to go to his house with no phone and no way to go anywhere. This person ended up getting her a phone anyway. As soon as she had the phone she called some of her “friends” and one of them picked her up and she was gone Saturday. This person who bonded her out called me and told me he was going to revoke her bond and I told him that was his decision and he could do what he wanted, I wasn’t in it. I refuse to bond her out, family or not, on drug charges not to mention for stealing a credit card. She was gone all day Saturday. Then Sunday morning the person who bonded her out called me again and told me he was thinking of revoking her bond and I again told him that it was his decision, I was not in it. He said that she had texted him and said she had a job interview (on a Sunday) and was then going to follow someone to Chicago. So that is why he wanted to revoke her bond.
After all that, everything seems fine. My best friend came over with her husband and child and we were all just hanging out. Then I get a call from my family member’s husband asking me if his child seat was still in my husband’s car from when we let them borrow the week before. I asked my daughter to run out to my husband’s car and check to see if the seat was still there. My daughter comes back in and tells me that her dad’s car isn’t out there. I told her it should be so I go check and sure enough the car was gone. I called the police department and filed a report. I then drove all over town as well as the next two towns over to see if I can find it. About midnight Sunday night I received a call from the police department saying they found my car and had it stopped and asked if I wanted it towed or I wanted to go pick it up. I told them that I wanted to go pick it up while the police was there so I can make sure nothing was missing. I get to the location and who do I see being arrested, my family member. She wasn’t the one actually driving but she was still there. So yet again she goes to jail.
We found out that somehow she was able to get into my house, while we were asleep, and take the key to the car off of my husband’s key ring and that is how she was able to take the car without breaking anything. She tried to tell the cops that I let her borrow it, that is why she had a key, and she was on her way to bring it back.
So as you can see my family member is back on meth and it has been very, very crazy. I hope things start to look up for her and she can get clean and be there for her children.
After all that, everything seems fine. My best friend came over with her husband and child and we were all just hanging out. Then I get a call from my family member’s husband asking me if his child seat was still in my husband’s car from when we let them borrow the week before. I asked my daughter to run out to my husband’s car and check to see if the seat was still there. My daughter comes back in and tells me that her dad’s car isn’t out there. I told her it should be so I go check and sure enough the car was gone. I called the police department and filed a report. I then drove all over town as well as the next two towns over to see if I can find it. About midnight Sunday night I received a call from the police department saying they found my car and had it stopped and asked if I wanted it towed or I wanted to go pick it up. I told them that I wanted to go pick it up while the police was there so I can make sure nothing was missing. I get to the location and who do I see being arrested, my family member. She wasn’t the one actually driving but she was still there. So yet again she goes to jail.
We found out that somehow she was able to get into my house, while we were asleep, and take the key to the car off of my husband’s key ring and that is how she was able to take the car without breaking anything. She tried to tell the cops that I let her borrow it, that is why she had a key, and she was on her way to bring it back.
So as you can see my family member is back on meth and it has been very, very crazy. I hope things start to look up for her and she can get clean and be there for her children.
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